The Barbecutioner

BEWARE IF DRIVING TO JB!

2009-02-18T23:08:00.001+08:00

To all you people who drive into JB often. You better read this. It just happened today.

I wanted to get my car washed, vacuumed and maybe top-up some cheap petrol. So I decided to head up to JB to get all things done. I drove up to the causeway and passed the Woodlands Checkpoint as per normal, then to the Malaysian checkpoint and got my passport stamped and when I headed over to the inspection corner, I stopped my car, released my seat belt (YES! I got my seat belts on!), and headed out to the back of my car to lift up the car boot for inspection. When I was cleared, I headed back into the driver’s seat and drove off. Almost instantaneously I got stopped by a Malaysian traffic police and this was the conversation we had.

“Sir, you didn’t have your seat belts on. Under the Malaysian law, the driver is to have his selt belt on whenever driving. I’m gonna charge and fine you for not putting on your seat belt. The fine is 300RM.”

And then I explained (still in the car);
“Sorry boss, I just got off the car just now for inspection. Usually I’ll drive and put on my seat belt at the same time. I’ll put my seat belt on right now.”

“Sorry Sir, this is Malaysia and you are under the Malaysian law now. I don’t know if you can drive without your seat belt on in Singapore but you’re now in Malaysia and I’ll have to penalise you for not putting on your seat belt. Can I have your license please?”

I got out of the car, took out and handed over my driving license to him.
“How much is the fine?”

“300 Ringgit”

“OK.”
And then he looked at me. Kinda surprised. Then he went…
“Ah! This is Malaysia! Please remember to put on your seat belt!”

“OK.”
He paused, and looked at me again…
“I give you one chance want ornot?”

“Oh yes please! Thank you boss!” I was already laughing inside. This fella just wants money.

“OK! 50 Ringgit! Go back into your car. Take back your license. MONEY UNDER LICENSE!”
I took out a 50RM note and placed it under the license and then handed both to him.
“AIYOH!! Fold the money!!
I obliged and folded the note into half and handed it to him again.
“SMALLER! HIDE THE MONEY UNDER THE LICENSE!!”
I laughed and acted blur, then did accordingly.
“THANK YOU!”
And then I drove off…

The whole scene lasted for about 5 mins and while I was there, another 5 cars were stopped. There were 3 of them.

Lobang for Thumb Drives

2008-10-26T17:54:00.003+08:00

Hello All,

Let me know if you're interested to get some :)

Saturation...

2008-07-28T04:23:00.000+08:00

Waking up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep anymore… In fact, I’ve yet to sleep one bit and I’m still wide awake. SO many things in my mind, I can’t seem to be able to settle down and go to bed. I come online, hoping to look for someone to chat with. But I’ve lost all my MSN contacts, all my friends are “no more”. I feel so lonely right now, nothing to do, no one to talk to and unable to sleep.

Work has been occupying my thoughts. Close to 7 months into the first full-time job that I have in the journey of my life. It has been strenuous. It never seems to end, it keeps coming and it’s been accumulating. I think that’s what you call “hitting the wall”. I miss the life I had as a full-time student. Living a carefree life, not much commitments and especially the holidays. I’m flattered by the expectations that my superiors have of me but it seems as if after all the time I’ve spent working on it, I never seem to be able to complete any of them. I guess my capabilities are limited after all.

I was a student studying part-time, looking to get a job to make use of the free time that I have on hand. To gain some experience in the working world and to earn some pocket money. But for work, I’ve sacrificed all the things that I loved to do. I am no longer able to find time to do my favorite past-time, fishing. I can’t even give commitment to the basketball team I’ve played for the past 2 years. I’ve sacrificed my weekends, going back to work on Saturdays and Sundays. Its already been 22 consecutive days I’ve gone back to work to clear my stuff and at the same time struggling to complete my school projects and assignments I have on hand. And I’ve been sacrificing my studies for work. I’m exhausted, I’m saturated. I yearn so much for a break and the breaks I’ve got from work were either when I fell sick or when I took leave to complete my school projects and assignments. Is all this worth it? I definitely do not wish to jeopardize my studies for work. I only wanted to get a job to gain some experience and earn some pocket money. Not for it to hog up all my time and burden me with plenty of commitments.

I love the job. People are great, its one of my interests and there’re lots of things for me to learn. But my studies definitely come first. Has it been worth it? Should I go on?

Good Bye.

2008-05-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

Sometimes your emotions just get the better of you. Its something so very hard to control. I’ve learnt to realize…

You would never fail to call me whenever you would be coming back to ask if I’m hungry…
You would stay late at night in office to work and keep me company…
You entrusted your car with me, then, when I was only a few days old in the company…
The repeated treats I’ve got from hanging out with you after work and the countless advices and support you would enlighten and provide me with whenever I would face with any troubles with regards to work.

There was nobody else more of a friend than you in office. You definitely made working a much better experience for me and I really appreciate having had a colleague like you.

Whatever troubles you may be facing, there will be a time where everything starts turning for the better.

Its definitely sad to see you go. You will be missed.

I wish you well in whatever may be the next step in your life.

One Third Down

2008-04-28T23:18:00.003+08:00

School has started again! Sometimes it’s good to have a break. And when you go back to working on it, it just feels so different. Or refreshing I’d say. I don’t know why. But somehow I always feel good whenever a new term starts and I get into a class with mostly familiar faces, a few unfamiliar ones and a different lecturer. You get to meet more people and get to ‘evaluate’ the new lecturer. Of course, the customary self-introduction during the first class of each module is ALWAYS the most boring part. But other than that, when you’re learning something new, something different, its always a refreshing experience!

Now, how I just wish I can take a break from work (without using my leave. They’re so precious!!). Life as a student is fun. Classes, study, stress, assignments, stress, projects, lots of stress and then holidays. Recharge, face something different and CONQUER!

LOL, I don’t know if this is a self-fulfilling prophecy (psychological term) I’m applying on myself. Maybe I’m just looking at things on a brighter side to not demoralize myself. Or maybe not! But I really enjoyed my first class after 2 weeks of holidays.

Year 2008 is almost 1/3 gone (time REALLY flies doesn’t it?). And I predict this term to be really stressful because I’m taking 2 modules this term and both classes are on weeknights! I had 1st hand experience on how its like to have lessons on a weekday after work today. Its so stressing! I had to rush to complete all that’s supposed to be done for the day (to be in time for class) and for the month. The month is coming to an end and lots of closing of accounts has to be done. There were so many events over the month of April! Just the World Gourmet Summit (WGS) is enough to kill. Not to mention Food Hotel Asia 2008 (FHA), Premium Wine Tasting 2008 at The American Club and many others! Lots of wines lying around in my office from the events, not settled. Lots of new labels brought in, not allocated a space in the wine room. Lots of things to settle, too little time. And towards the end of this school term, I will be stressed with double the assignments, double the projects, double the workload!

New challenges awaits me. And I’m not backing down!

BEST EVER BLONDE JOKE

2008-04-05T11:17:00.002+08:00

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..' He said with a deep sigh, . . . . .

(scroll down)

'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'

Untitled

2008-03-30T23:29:00.002+08:00

It’s been a year…
A year since I wore something green on myself…
A year since I held the ‘kiwi’ and brush…
A year since I last stamped my foot...
A year since I had to listen to commands to start walking and change directions, in unison, nevertheless…

It was year 2005, around the same time, 3 years ago. Where my parents departed; leaving me all alone in an island strange, and unfamiliar to me. I told myself all this would end in due time. And I can still remember clearly how I felt at that very moment when I told that to myself.

As I queued up in a single file, together with many other boys like me, waiting to get my hair shaved;
As I embarked on a journey, filled with regimentation and physical training;
Never would I have thought at that point of time, that I would be sitting down here, right now, at the comfort of my own home, typing what I am typing right now, without having to pack my belongings for the week ahead of me, without having to worry about booking in, and with my hair long enough to ’fly’ as the fan rotates to my direction with every uniform interval.

It’s just amazing how when you think back, that time really flies and waits for no man they say…

With that, I would like to end this post and leave you guys with a quote that has never failed to motivate me and also as a reminder to all you reading this right now that TIME IS GOLD. Don’t take it for granted; for when it’s gone, you’d never be able to get it back…

“Four little words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd; a little bit more. They did all that was expected of them and a little bit more.”

First 3 Months of 2008. Crucial.

2008-03-16T19:52:00.002+08:00

Its been 2 months since my last post. And I've been working very hard to fulfil the resolution I have set for myself. I knew adapting to a new full time job would be rather tough, which I'm also glad that I'm taking only one module for this term at school. This will help me to worry less about school work and concentrate more on the new job that I have on hand.

When I first started with the job, I'm faced with challenges on how to adapt to something that I have never done before in my life.
Then I'm challenged with how I supposed to be more efficient on my role in the company so as to not create unessecary inconveniences to my colleagues.
Now, its coming to the end of the term and school work is starting to pick up. So I'm facing new challenges almost everytime.

3 months is the period of probation I need to serve under this new company that I have joined. 3 months is also the duration of a term in school. And now, I'm in the final few weeks of this crucial 3 months where I'm challenged to cope with juggling school and work all together at the same time.

For once, I'm feeling stressed up. A 1st in a long time. Feels good cause at least I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and bad at the same time cause going through this process is not exactly what you'd call 'feeling good'.

My Way.

2008-01-08T02:52:00.000+08:00

What’s so good about having a blog? What’s so great about letting people from around the world let you know about your life? Is your life THAT interesting? Or do you think your life is THAT interesting?

Maybe the life of mine is just THAT boring. Maybe I haven’t been doing much of late that is worthy of a post in this blog. I feel like I’ve been wasting my life. Its time for a new beginning. Its the beginning of a new year and I know people all around will set their resolutions and go bla bla bla whatever they want for the year ahead. Other than the customary wishings and blessings of a happy and great new year to everyone that I see, I don’t really care about any regarding the new year. What I really want now, though, is a change in my life right now. To wake up from this slump that I’ve been and to pick myself up from being this useless asshole, staying home rotting all the time, not studying, not working and killing myself by the days with the things that I am currently doing. Enough is enough! I guess I’ll just have to be like all the other people and set a resolution for myself this year. And I’m not asking for much. Just to change my life, not waste time, play hard, work hard, and be the Ron I wanna be.

I love to write, prolly that’s why I even set up this blog initially. My life recently has given me totally no inspiration to write and that is gonna change. This new song that I have just uploaded to this blog have always been one of my favourites. I want to be able to honour its lyrics and really mean it when I sing it.

My Medal

2007-12-26T18:09:00.000+08:00

Got it last week. Didn't have time to take photos of it. Well now the photos are taken and I hereby would like to present to you my Medal from the Inter-Constituency Basketball Games;

This is the front

And the back.

我是麻坡人。

2007-12-26T01:23:00.000+08:00

The Month of December.

2007-12-19T00:57:00.000+08:00

I know its already December, but I just wanna put up these few pics from the 11th of November when my cousin had her ROM. Below will be some of the pics. My best wishes to the both of them :)

The month of December has been really hectic so far. Not only for me, but my family as well…

First, there’re the relatives coming down to my house from all parts of Malaysia. Most of them arrived the day before my brother’s wedding and I had to help out to entertain them. It was Saturday evening and after a long day of hustling around getting everything that’s supposed to be done, done. Some of them wanted to go out and have some fun. Being the best (and only) candidate, obviously, to bring them around, I brought them out to experience alittle bit of Singapore’s night life and got home at 3am where I had to wake up at 4:30am to go with my brother to fetch the bride from her house. I chose not to sleep at all fearing that sleeping for such a short period of time would only tire me more than I would staying awake. I didn’t know why my mum wanted me to go over cause when I was there at the bride’s house, all I did was to just stand at one corner while my brother and his buddies were getting pranked by the bride’s friends. Oh well, it was my mother’s instruction and I had to oblige. Somehow its only right that I should be there being his brother afterall. So there’s nothing much to complain about regarding this and I shall stop whining about it.

So the customary tea offering sessions by the couple at my house were next followed by the wedding lunch. I was tasked to help get all my relatives allocated to their seats and thanks to some great spelling from my mum, I had a real difficult time trying to search for their names in the list and let them know where they will be sitting in the ball room. Imagine having to search for my Aunt’s name in the list when it is spelled as ‘San Koo Ma’! Even one of my brother’s friend helping out at the reception table went “Win liao lo!! Liddat also can put as name. ALAMAK!” I was hustling up and down the corridor talking to my mum to confirm if they had seats and entertaining my relatives till I managed to find where they were supposed to sit from the list.

Well, all those are history now and I’m only glad that that event is officially over. I knocked out after the lunch when I got home and slept all the way till midnight then I woke up to have my dinner. LOL. I still don’t have any pics from the wedding yet. But I’ll post some of them up when I do get them.

Next up! Small little birthday party for both Herman and me at GRAXS. The both of us got wasted but it was sure fun though we both burnt a rather big hole in our pockets after that. Well, as long as everybody had fun, it was worth it. I’ll let the pictures do the talking here. Cause I don’t wanna talk about myself getting drunk and puking twice that night….. OOPS! (All thanks to the Guiness cum Martell cum Vodka mix!!)

And the day has to start like this. Look at my face and you'll know how I'm feeling when he 'forced-hug' me.

We arrived at Bugis and then went to Tong Shui Cafe to have a meal. Following will be pictures of us at the cafe;

And then here we are, at GRAXS. I think Herman's already alittle tipsy in this picture.

I wasn't spared with all the GAY KISSES either.

He's the first to get drunk. DUH.

I think they made Herman drink something bad. BTW, look at his pants, That's our birthday cake smeared onto him. Good thing I was wearing black that night. Cause I wasn't spared either.

Me and Sarah

Already Gone.

Surprise! Surprise!! I’m born in a family who don’t really have a tradition for celebrating any birthdays. So does Herman. Having a birthday party at GRAXS was already something new for the both of us and I was really very satisfied and happy that it turned out to be a fun event for everyone that was present.
BUT!!! Next day in the evening, my brother-in-law bought a cake for me and brought it to my house! I was sang a birthday song and given ‘ang baos’ by my grandparents, parents and brother (and in-law). It was also unique that my other grandmother from Malaysia was present too. Definitely a pleasant surprise and I’m very thankful for that. You can see from the pictures I’m still alittle ‘blur’ from the previous night of drinking. LOL.

My grandmother who stays at Malaysia (Mum's mum)

My other grandmother who lives with us. (Dad's mum)

Me and my parents.

And that’s not all!! You know, my family has so many friends and relatives at Malaysia it wasn’t possible to get all of them down to Singapore all at once. So we just got back from a trip to Malaysia for a 2nd wedding event. This time it’s a dinner and at a smaller scale. How many people actually get to have two wedding events? Its been 3 years since I last went back to Malaysia. So I took a few pictures of the old house back at Parit Jawa, a small little town near Muar of Malaysia. Again, there are more pictures of both the old house and the wedding dinner itself but I only have those that I took with my phone with me right now and all of them are pictures of my old house. I’ll post them here once I get them.

As run down as the house is, its definitely a place where I had a lot of wonderful childhood memories. Though the people that used to be my neighbours and the little friends that I got to know then may have moved out of the area, they will always be a significant part of my memories together with the old house. It was definitely great to see some of the familiar-yet-not-so-familiar faces of those folks living at Malaysia at my brother’s wedding.

BTW, it was so SHIOK driving at 180km/h enroute to Malaysia :P

Here’re some pictures of the old house…

So I thought after all these I’ll finally have a coming weekend where there’s nothing much I have to do I could just lay around or hang out with friends. Probably even go fishing! But I heard my two little cousins will be coming down from Malaysia for Christmas! Well, they didn’t contact me regarding this issue, they contacted my brother-in-law instead. So I’m leaving everything to her to settle whatever their needs may be and to entertain them. However, as cousins and a relative, I still will have to appear once in awhile probably for a meal together or something like that.

The month of December has been really hectic so far. Not only for me, but my family as well…

AND IT SEEMS ITS NOT REALLY GONNA GET ANY BETTER YET.

Addicted to Fish.

2007-12-08T05:24:00.000+08:00

All of a sudden I’m so addicted to fishing again. Plans have been made, but the weather didn’t permit. It has been raining almost everyday for the past few days!!

I’m already missing the wind that I can feel blowing against my body, missing the feeling of my t-shirt flapping behind me, missing the feeling of ‘fighting’ a fish on the other end of the line (especially when it’s a big one!). Will the rain just take a break for one day or two and let me go out enjoy myself fishing and probably get a tan at the same time?

I wanna enjoy as much as I can. Till I find a job, till school starts again, till I’ll be busy, so busy that I don’t have anytime for these activities that I yearn for, every now and then…

5am right now as I type. And I just got home from a mahjong session. I should be sleeping already. But I don’t feel any bit of tiredness at all. Tomorrow will be another night of drinking again and I’ve been drinking so much and sleeping so little the past week I think I’m officially sick. But hey, time waits for no man and I really hate sleeping because I feel it’s a waste of time. But without sleep I’m no better than a zombie. My mum will always say I look like a drug addict whenever I am lack of sleep. I’ll be having severe sinus, my face will look so pale and I’ll basically be ‘brain dead’. And I don’t like this kind of feeling either!

Contradicting eh? Well that’s life isn’t it? So whenever I sleep, I don’t like anybody to disturb me. Wake me up in the midst of my sleep and you’ll face a phantom!! Lol.

So I think I needa really try to get some sleep now for tomorrow (or later today) will be a long day (or a long night). I’m already sick, I should start to take care of myself alittle. My sore throat has only gotten from bad to worse. Plus now I got cough and flu! Had a slight fever a few days back. Popped a couple of panadols and good thing the fever is gone.

BOO!! I feel like a weakling!

Hope tomorrow (uh… later) will be a good day! And Sunday, I think I’ll just sleep the day away. LOL.

Oh yea, remember to brush your teeth before you goto bed!!

Updates...

2007-12-06T04:18:00.001+08:00

I finally had some time to relax after the super-duper busy weekend. Rather, I should say, I needed some relaxation. So I threw every tour-guiding activity I had to do to my parents, and went out to seek some relaxation late in the afternoon.

I went fishing! After so long, I finally get to enjoy the sea breeze and the come close to nature...

Relaxing by the sea

Nice scenery eh?

Relaxation at its best. Enjoying the cool sea breeze and nice view as the sky turns dark.

Chaos at home!!

This was how my house looked like when the night before my brother's wedding. And it only got more crowded! I was too busy then to take anymore pictures.

Vintage Martell and XO plus wine taken out from The Barbecutioner's vault!

There will be more pictures when I get them. Plus those on the actual wedding. Stay tuned!

Oh by the way, my hair 'changed colour'. LOL

Jet-black hair with alittle tinge of blue, making my hair look so shiny. LOL

Party TIME

2007-12-04T14:13:00.000+08:00

Herman posted this. So I guess I shall do so too...

OPEN INVITATION TO ALL!!

When: 8th December 2007. Anytime after dinner.

Location: A pub hailed as GRAXS located at Aliwal Street just right beside 7-eleven, one of the perpendicular streets opposite of Concourse Hotel.

Main beverage: MORE THAN ENOUGH OF MARTELLS FOR YOU TO DRINK!! With mixers of coke, green tea, and some others. If you want any other sort of alcoholic beverage, you will have to buy them yourself :P

Herman and me will be celebrating our birthdays together and another good buddy of ours will be celebrating his ORD as well. So lets get ourselves wasted!

Holla at me if you're coming. All are invited. :)

The death of Network Marketing/ MLM

2007-12-04T13:43:00.000+08:00

Hey all,

Go check out this site. Pretty informative... Only something for you to gain. Nothing to lose :)

http://www.the-death-of-networkmarketing.com/?see-why=7077

Busy November… It’s almost over!!

2007-11-29T06:08:00.000+08:00

The month of November has been really hectic for me.

First, the projects and assignment for my 3 modules! That really killed me. And considering the fact that I had to do almost EVERYTHING singlehandedly for my Statistics project when it was supposed to be done by 3 people! Well, the project was initially distributed to the 3 members of my group. But one of them couldn’t care much about the project and came up with a load of junk that was totally irrelevant to the topic of the project that we were working on less than one week to the dateline! And made things worse by submitting the most crucial part of the project that was equivalent to nothing more than junk! That really got me pissed off cause I spent a lot of time working on this particular project and spoilt all my plans for the other projects (Cultural & Social Psychology) and assignment (Social Psychology) that I have in hand as well. What more, this faggot said he had to go overseas for a business trip when he was in Singapore all the while enjoying his life going about doing his own business while the other 2 of us were mugging at the library and school in front of our laptops non-stop for consecutive days! He treated us like fools and wanted a free ride. It’s only right that I took off his name from the project cause he didn’t contribute at all. (Better luck next time! And don’t fuck with people’s projects.) What a useless round lump of lard! With so much time spent on this particular project, I had no time for my other two projects and one more assignment. So much so that I had to submit my Social Psychology’s project and assignment late! I’m only hoping the lecturer will be lenient and not deduct any points for the late submission. Glad though, that my group mates for the Cultural Psychology project were ‘on the ball’ and did their parts, even covering most of my part after understanding my plight. Really thankful to them.

‘No day no night’ is what I’d call it for my past week. Been mugging in front of the laptop and carrying it around with me wherever I went. Over 10,000 worth of words completed. Just so relieved that school’s over and done with for now. It’s the holidays!!

With so much going on with my school work, I still had my Inter-Constituency Basketball Competition going on. My previous entry on that was when my team entered the top 4 rankings of the competition. Well we went ahead and competed at the semi-finals where we met the eventual champions of the competition. It was a fairly tough fight but I think we shouldn’t have lost. As usual, my team only had 9 players competing against the full force of 12 players from the opposing team. We lost only by 4 points and couldn’t enter the finals. So we had to settle for the 3rd and 4th placing. We won, and got 3rd place overall pretty easily I’d say. Had to leave almost immediately after the match to go back to work on my projects. Couldn’t stay to collect the medal and prize money. I’ll show the pictures of my medal when I get them from my teammates. And that marks the end of the Inter-Constituency Basketball Competition for this year. Hopefully we’ll claim the championship next year.

Up next! My brother’s wedding this weekend. Lots of housework have been accumulating for me this whole month cause I never really had the time to do any. So I’ll be busy cleaning up the house this whole week and doing my part for my bro’s wedding. Relatives from all parts of Malaysia will be coming down to my house! And I’ll be in charge of ushering them around the hotel, being the driver and ‘tour guide’ come the actual day. It’s gonna be damn crowded and I wonder if my house will be able to hold all of them! ‘Skali’ my block collapse! LOL. I predict its gonna be rather hectic for me this weekend too. Someone, really, get me a 5 piece rod. I needa pull through!! LOL.

Been so busy I haven’t really got the time to blog for much of this month. Can’t wait for November, or this week to end… Then my birthday will come! (its on the 9th of December folks!) And that is when I can officially relax and gather myself to face the upcoming challenges of my life.

Oh, and… So many things have happened to me these past months. Despite my busy schedule, I’ve been working on a story which I have gradually lost motivation to continue writing. I don’t know if I should post it out. But I think I’ll let it out someday in the near future. Or I’d try to continue writing and post it out when I’m done? Or I won’t even post it out at all. I’ll just see how it goes.

Shout out to [e]Z: May we have a good one next weekend!

Time flies man… It really does.

STEREOTYPE

2007-11-25T11:04:00.000+08:00

WHY DO PARENTS MAKE YOU DO FUCKING HOUSEWORK WHEN YOU HAVE FUCKING TOLD THEM YOU GOT FREAKING ASSIGNMENT AND PROJECT TO RUSH AND THE DATELINE IS FUCKING DUE TODAY! AND THEY CAN RAISE THEIR FUCKING VOICE AT ME AFTER I EXPLAINED! WHY CAN’T THEY GET THEIR FUCKING PRIORITIES STRAIGHT?

IF THEY DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR ACADEMIC RESULTS THEN WHY ASK YOU TO FUCKING STUDY?

OoOOoOoo MAMA!!

2007-11-20T01:53:00.000+08:00

L O V E

2007-11-09T23:29:00.001+08:00

Just some quotes. I saved my favourite two for last.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. - Anais Nin

A friend is, as it were, a second self. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

He who has nothing has no friends. - Greek proverb

We are molded and remolded by those who have loved us; and though the love may pass, we are nevertheless their work, for good or ill. - Francois Mauriac

If I have no love, I am nothing… Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offence. Love keeps no score of wrongs; does not gloat over other men’s sins, but delights in the truth… Love will never come to an end. – I Corinthians 13

I believe myself that romantic love is the source of the most intense delight that life has to offer. – Bertrand Russell

Whoever indulges in love without sense or moderation recklessly endangers his life; such is the nature of love that no one involved with it can keep his head. - Marie de France

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. - George Sand (pen name of Amandine Dupin)

When love is not madness, it is not love. - Spanish proverb

We don’t believe in rheumatism and true love until the first attack. - Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like a bread; remade all the time, made new. - Ursula K. LeGuin

---------------------------------

The following is what this Psychology student is studying about. Simply put, LOVE.

•Men appear more focused on the process of sexual mating (passionate love)
–Fall in love faster and fall out of love more slowly
–Less likely to break up a premarital romance

•Women are more focused on the attachment aspect (companionate love)

•The partner who initiates the breakup tends to suffer less distress

•Men tend to suffer more than women when they are romantically rejected

•People with a more individualistic orientation were the loneliest following a breakup

•People who deal best with the loss of romantic love are those with a supportive social network

The above mentioned are just some points that can be easily understood. There're alot more other points that come in sophisticating psychological terms I'm lazy to translate. So be contented with what you have :)

And now for the last two quotes;

You are inventing all sorts of feelings for me such as I have never really had them all, and then getting cross with me for having them. That is not a very amiable proceeding, is it?- Murasaki Shikaba

When you are beside me my heart sinks; a branch it is, dancing, dancing before the Wind Spirit in the moon of strawberries. When you frown upon me, beloved, my heart grows dark… the shadow of clouds darken, then with your smile comes the sun. - Anonymous

Oops, I did it again.

2007-11-08T06:04:00.001+08:00

$98 a bottle of Martell? Why not?

Poor cameraman doesn't get the 'air time' as usual.

Then it came to a point where we could only stand and do nothing else. We needed some seats, so we went somewhere else and concentrated on getting wasted.

Let the music fill your soul

Soul Filla'

2007-11-06T22:14:00.000+08:00

When you’re feeling down, let the alcohol turn you on.

When your heart is feeling weak, let the bass take control.

Let the music fill your soul.

November! November........

2007-11-04T06:08:00.000+08:00

I’m half a Malaysian. Most of my relatives from both my parent’s sides are mostly at Malaysia. My parents were both Malaysians till they converted into Singapore citizens. I only have one aunt each from both sides together with me here in Singapore (so that pretty much explains why every time during the Lunar New Year, my ang bao money very little. Hehe).

Well, being from Singapore. Its no wonder why my relatives back in Malaysia will look upon us ‘Singaporean relatives’ more. Its always a rather big hoo-ha whenever we go back to Malaysia to visit our relatives. Most, sometimes even all my relatives from all parts of Malaysia will make the effort to gather whenever we go back there.

Every time we go back to Malaysia, relatives will always ask if I have a girlfriend. Because they never heard of me having one all these years while all my other cousins already have theirs. And when news broke that I finally HAD one, all of them were rather eager to see her. Its now November and my cousin here in Singapore is going to have her ROM. My parents have been asked, I have been asked too, that whether she would she would be there. Relatives from Malaysia coming down to Singapore are eager to see her. My parents didn’t know how to tell my relatives, so did I. So we came out with a common lie; that she will not be able to attend.

My brother’s wedding will be on December and almost all of them will be coming down to Singapore for the wedding. I don’t know how I’ll be able to face the bombardment of questions from all my relatives.

I’ve been feeling lonely today. Probably tomorrow too. I’m just glad that someone else out there is having fun. Unlike how I am feeling now, and will be. Let me just absorb all my sorrows so as not to affect the other people around who loves and cares for me.

4th in Singapore.

2007-10-31T23:35:00.000+08:00

Top 4? Yea, we’re in it!

How exciting is a match when you’re down 46 to 42 entering the 4th quarter and you score 20 points, play good defense, allowing the opponent to score only 5 points for the remaining quarter to win 62 to 51?

How about I tell you the team that won only had 8 players competing with a full team of 12?

I’m proud to be playing for Cashew CSC.

Time on flight.

2007-10-31T00:28:00.000+08:00

I was sitting at the living room, working on my assignment with the TV on, then all of sudden I heard an advertisement about the Malaysia Carnival Sale. Then I was thinking, ’wow, they’re gonna come out with a sale to attract more people to their country again?’

No I was wrong, its an advertisement about the year-end carnival sale just like how Singapore normally has his. Then only I realize, my god, the year is about to come to an end! It feels as if the Great Singapore Sale during the mid year just passed.

I remember visiting NBA.com and the countdown to tip-off clock they have on their site. My last memory of the days left till the countdown was over 60 days and now, the first game of the new NBA season is already in progress!

Its amazing how time flies. Back in year 2005 when I enlisted into the army, I was wondering when the hell year 2007 will come cause 2007 is the year I will ORD and now, I’m already 7 months past my ORD date, approaching my 8th!
Also amazing how I feel like I’m still a fresh student in my course of Psychology, but I’m already approaching the end of the 2nd term of a 3-term year!

Well, as time flies, it means I’m aging as well and talking about age, I kinda feel like an old man right now. Last night I went down and played a few pickup games and came back with a sore and blistered ankle. Woke up the next morning with slight ache in my arms, and as the day passes, my whole body seems to be aching everywhere. Now I got muscle aches at my arms, my shoulders, chest, thighs and groin area! How to play bball tomorrow liddat?! What has happened to me? EVERYWHERE ACHING!

ARGH!

2007-10-30T11:31:00.000+08:00

I've been balling in the same shoe for close to a year and I had no problems with that shoe all along until last night.

I 'jio'ed' the guys down on a rare Monday evening to play some pickup games. Ran alittle here and there, all the while surveying my ankle, evaluating if my ankle can hold up. It felt pretty good until that very crucial game I started running alittle more.

It started with alittle itch around my left ankle, I thought it was nothing much, so I kept playing. Then the itch developed into pain. Probably because of the sweat and the skin softens or what, I took off my left shoe immediately after the game ended and saw that I got 3 deep blisters around my ankle!

Well, here're some pictures of the my 'well punished' left ankle. I'm still 21 years old, turning 22 soon. But my ankle just looks... so old...

Blister No. 1

Blister No. 2

Blister No. 3

Oh, BTW. My ankle didn't really hold up afterall. Its aching now as I type...

So as per the title; ARGH!!

Funny Rendition

2007-10-27T23:26:00.000+08:00

Just recieved this funny rendition of Ah Du's song. Happy viewing!

Top 16

2007-10-27T19:56:00.000+08:00

Alright, I got to find out only today that we have advanced into the Top 16 teams for the Inter-Constituency Basketball Games and today is the first game for my team in the Top 16.

Results? We won. Walkover…

Good though, so that means I will be able to rest my ankle alittle bit more. Did try to test my ankle alittle bit while warming up and waiting for the opposing team to arrive. Tried to dunk a few times, but couldn’t get the lift like I used to get. Main thing is my ankle felt good. Probably because my teammate did a good job taping my ankle up for me before the warm-ups :)

Still, I’m exhausted. Only had 2 hours of sleep last night. Couldn’t sleep somehow. I wonder what state I would be in right now if the match didn’t end up in a walkover. I think I’d hardly be able to stand up. My legs are aching already just after jumping a few times attempting to dunk.

Oh my god I feel like an old man. Not long after I got home from the basketball match which I didn’t really play, I smell like a walking chinese medical man. I’m covered with all sorts of chinese medication. For muscle ache relief and for joints. And even medicated plaster on my back!

Next up, Nanyang CSC this coming Wednesday evening. Tough matchup, time to get serious!

PS – To all those that read my blog, at least say Hi la. I won’t bite! Tag board is not there for nothing.

GOOD MORNING!

2007-10-27T05:19:00.001+08:00

Hello!

The time is now 5:14am as I type!

I’m supposed to be waking up in less than 2 hours time to meet up with my classmates for my Cultural Psychology project!

I’m going mad!

I got a basketball match going on in less than 12 hours!

I’m going to collapse!!

I need to sleep now!

Somebody wish me good night?

I DOUBT ANYBODY WILL EVEN BE AWAKE!

BLEAH!

Stockpile...

2007-10-24T23:35:00.000+08:00

3 projects and 2 more assignments to go.

One of the assignments is supposedly due today but I got a 1 week extension for this assignment cause I did it all wrong! Now I only got one week to re-do the whole assignment that was meant to be completed in 3 weeks!

Anyway, here’s just a little update. Next match for my team at the Inter-Constituency Basketball games is this Saturday, 5:25 pm at the Singapore Basketball Center. Hope my ankle can hold up :) Something that I can look up to and probably something that’s out of work and studies for this week.

I’m kinda having mixed feelings now. The other assignment and all projects will be due on the 23rd of November. I can’t wait for that day to come and I’m hoping that day never comes. Because there’s still a lot to do I’m afraid I may not be able to finish them in time.

Good thing I haven’t been able to sleep much recently. Its really helping a lot.

Oh, anyone got any good remedies for sore throat? Damn, I really needa get it healed. Its rather important for a good performance. Heh.

Expression

2007-10-23T15:20:00.000+08:00

WHY?

2007-10-22T02:18:00.000+08:00

Why does my life have to be so unfair?

Why was mine kept secret?

Why isn’t my life loved?

Why does mine have to be kept from 'unavailable'?

Why?

And HOW do I face with my life?

Exhaustion!

2007-10-21T18:00:00.000+08:00

I can’t describe how I’m feeling right now. I’m heaving a headache, my whole body feels like it has just come back from a full marathon. I feel like I don’t have any energy left in my body at all.

I’m now in the library, trying to work on my assignment that will be due this coming Wednesday but I’m stuck. I don’t know how to solve the problems given.

I never had any sleep at all last night. Just couldn’t fall asleep. Don’t know why. Literally no sleep at all, all the way till 10 in the morning where I sent my grandma to the temple and then drove off to Toa Payoh with Shaun for band practice. I will be performing at some concert hall somewhere come November. Tickets will be selling at $10 or $15 dollars a piece. Don’t come to support me cause I’ll be too embarrassed. LOL.

After band practice, I headed straight to school to continue to work on my assignment with my classmates till the school had to close and now I’m at the national library. Seriously too tired to go on.

I just downed a can of ‘Red Bull’ but it doesn’t seem to be helping at all.

I feel like sleeping, nothing else. But I’ll have to drive to the airport later to pick up my brother from his holiday trip. It’s almost as if my destiny/fate is playing tricks with me. It’s been making me go to places where wonderful, yet hurtful memories are. The long drive along the same expressway and the same airport terminal… o-so-familiar…

Parents will be back from their US trip tomorrow and I’ll have to wake up so early in the morning and reach the airport (the very same expressway, the very same terminal, again) at 6:30 in the morning. The house is in a mess and I haven’t got the time to really do any housework at all.

And my shoes!! They will be expecting that I have about half of them sold away by the time they come back but NO! My paypal account is still hanging there, unable to receive nor send any funds. Paypal seriously has VERY slow response to customer’s enquiries.

Let me just briefly tell you what my program will be for this coming week;

Monday – Wake up, Work, Assignment, Sleep.
Tuesday - Wake up, Work, Assignment, Sleep.
Wednesday - Wake up, Work, Lessons, Sleep.
Thursday - Wake up, Work, Lessons, Sleep.
Friday - Wake up, Work, Lessons, Sleep.
Saturday - Wake up, Library, Sleep.
Sunday - Wake up, Library, Sleep.

Great life eh?

Talking About Bad Luck!

2007-10-21T04:19:00.000+08:00

Without a season parking ticket for his car for more than a year, my brother parked his car at the car park near his house without getting a parking fine. Now that he’s out of town for a holiday and passed his car to me for the weekends, I parked at the same place and for the first night, I GOT A PARKING TICKET!!

ON A WEEKEND!!!

Damn those parking attendants! WHY DO YOU EVEN WORK ON WEEKENDS? Why do I have to be so damn ‘suay’?

I wonder what the hell I have done to be so down on luck these past weeks.

----------------

I spent the whole day at school all the way till the evening doing assignment. (It’s a Saturday, god damn it!) Guess where I went after that? I went to Bugis… For what?

TO DO DISCUSSIONS ON MY SCHOOL PROJECT!

Good thing Yong Ling was nearby Bugis when I was there with Herman and another classmate of mine doing our discussions. He joined us and we went to play some billiard after that. Had to relax somehow, or I’d go bonkers.

What’s the meaning of life for me right now?

L – Live
I – In
F – Fucking
E – Exigency

My posts always come at the beginning of the day.

2007-10-19T02:38:00.000+08:00

I couldn’t sleep again last night. Too many things going through in my mind. So I got out of my bed and got focused; worked on my assignment alittle but soon felt tired and headed back to bed again. I think school work can be a really good substitute for sleeping pills. LOL!

Woke up in the morning (note, I couldn’t sleep whole night and I still woke up in the morning. Its been like this for the past couple weeks; late nights and early days. Something must have really gotten into me). Started work on my assignment and that lasted pretty much the whole day. Well I didn’t manage to fulfill the requirement of 2500 words but at least I hit the 2300 mark. Few points will be penalized for this I think. Just hoping only for a pass for this assignment.

Well what’s next? I’m only done with an assignment of ONE module. I got one more remaining project for this current module, and PROJECTS and ASSIGNMENTS for another 2 modules!! Whoever wants to study part time shouldn’t read my blog. Or they’ll get demoralized. BIG TIME.

Good though, I’m keeping myself occupied with things. But sometimes my thoughts will run wild and wander into territories I don’t want it to go to. I can’t help it. And that kind of feeling really sucks.

Life goes on, and school work will keep coming. I’m just glad I’m only working part time. Don’t have much commitments from work. Or I doubt I’ll be able to cope. Actually, I’m already having great difficulty coping.

I’m so tired now. Time to get some rest. I predict myself enduring pain seeking treatment for my sore ankle at the sensei again tomorrow. I should have gone today but I couldn’t spare the time. Woke up this morning with a sharp pain from the ankle all the way up along my shin. Something must be wrong. I needa go get it healed. Pray that nothing is wrong with my ankle… The swell haven’t really subsided after 2 weeks.

Its been a battle. Both internally and externally. Physically and mentally. I’m running low on gas. But its still something that I have to go through…

MAJOR HEALING IN PROCESS.

Something good! Accompanied with something bad...

2007-10-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

Just got back from the bball match. Won 67 to 51. Time to proceed to the next round of competition.

And I tweaked the same ankle that is injured again. WHAT ELSE? Oh well, not surprising at all. I haven’t been exactly good on luck the past few weeks. Understandable why something bad will happen to me, AGAIN. Good thing its just a slight tweak. BUT IT STILL HURTS! DAMMIT!

I was an absolute ‘butterfinger’ at the beginning of the game. I couldn’t catch no balls!! Maybe because I never played in two weeks. And I was gasping for air all the time. Can’t believe my stamina dropped so much in 2 weeks. Probably because I was burdened by a sore ankle as well. Require the extra energy to try not to exert too much force on it and the extra energy to try to cushion the impact whenever the foot lands on the ground.

Teammates were great, they made an effort to not let me play too much cause they knew my ankle was injured. Shorthanded again this time. Team of 10, only 7 came. At least this time I was able to contribute alittle…

Looking on the bright side, at least we won. So its not that bad after all. Glad I didn’t bring bad luck to the team…

NEXT, Cultural Psychology assignment. 2500 words. I’m at 1200 words. Another 1300 more to go. Dateline’s tomorrow and I heard I will have to present the freakin’ assignment. My god. Time to start working again. But I’m so tired after right now. Didn’t sleep well last night and probably cause of that, I didn’t eat much the whole day as well. And then I went ahead and played competitive basketball.

Hai~ Time to pull through… (Can I have a 5 piece rod please?)

Sleepless Nights!

2007-10-17T04:19:00.000+08:00

Ron has been driving in his Mazda 3 around Singapore so much that sometimes he has to test the limits of the car even though it may not be intentional. I’ve realized that I’m a pretty good driver afterall! With excellent reflexes and great concentration. Though I may still not know the way around Singapore well yet but hey, that doesn’t determine my driving skills?! J I shall not go into detail regarding this matter. I was told by someone – my passenger who witnessed my excellent driving skills – that he would write in detail about what happened. LOL.

Haven’t really raised my voice and joked around for awhile. Feels good to do that again. I guess its back to the good old days of simple, busy, monotonous and somewhat unfulfilling life like it used to be. No doubt I still feel empty at times but well, oh well… Perhaps something else better lies ahead of me.

Along the way, I’ve received help from friends of many years and I am obligated to mention them over here in this paragraph just to thank them. So therefore, they have herein been duly mentioned. :P

I’m still climbing, and I’ll not stop. Till I reach what I want (which I don’t really know right now). I can foresee myself, the next 3 years, being the not-so-geek-being-forced-to-be-a-geek person, working for allowance during weekdays, slogging out either at the bball court or at computer during weeknights, visiting libraries during weekends (how nice eh?) and burying myself in piles and piles of books, straining my eyes sourcing for the things that I want… (for the 2nd time, how nice eh?)

Assignments and projects galore! Millions and millions of words! Thousands and thousands of books!

Oh, by the way. Do you think going over to Taiwan to teach English to their primary school kids for $2000 USD a month is a good idea? Let me know.

I need a laptop. Who would be so kind to get me one? (I’m hinting at you… Yes! YOU!) Don’t really need one that is so good. Just something that can let me type in a lot of words and store a lot of junk from school.

Studying makes me a very unhealthy person. I’m one who’s very reluctant to step out of the house and would rather starve at times than walk a couple hundred metres to the shopping center just right opposite of me for a proper meal. I need to get out!

And I just realized I’ve been typing junk, everything doesn’t link at all!

Its 4am, perhaps its time to get some sleep… But what’s wrong with me? Its 4am and I don’t fell one bit of tiredness at all…

Oh yea, I got home around 3am. DAMN, I had to drive all the way up to the 5th storey of the multi storey car park to get an empty slot. Where did all the cars come from? During the day, the car park is practically deserted. Too much cars in Singapore. Way too much!

Oh, another thing. I’ll be having a match later tonight (its Wednesday). It’s a WIN OR GO HOME match. If we win, we’ll proceed. Lose, and we’ll go home and hibernate till the next season comes. We’re the last team remaining from Bukit Panjang still in the competition. REPRESENT! I twisted my left ankle a couple weeks ago, haven’t touched a bball since then. Wanted to catch a pick up game or two today (uh, yesterday) to warm up a little but it was raining cats and dogs out there (poor little animals). I wonder how I will be able to perform later tonight. My ankle has not completely healed and considering the fact that I’m still awake at this time of the day when I should be snoring away!

OK, I’ll go lie down now… I should!

Love Deprived...

2007-10-16T12:37:00.000+08:00

I refused to let go because she's so important in my life I don't want to forget her. I held on to all I can.

But it has come to a point, where I've learnt to keep all the wonderful memories and let go of the grief...

Met her on the net, how?
I can't remember. But it seems to me that it is this 'little theory' which I declared in the cyberspace that caught her attention.
If I have a million dollars, I would buy a house. Do I have a million? No.
That’s why I don't have a house.
If I have wings, I can fly. Do I have wings? No. so I can never fly.
If all the waters are drawn out of Pacific Ocean, but it still can't put off the flame of love between us. Can all the waters of Pacific Ocean be drawn off? No. That's why I don't love you.
That's me, a typical science student. First you come up with an assumption, then you fit a suitable conclusion.
If the proposed assumption doesn't stand at all, then everything is just bullshit. I guess this is what they call 'unromantic'.
But she is an exception. She actually mailed me and said that I am an ‘interesting' person.
'Interesting'? What a word to use on me, it's like using 'faithful' on Mr. Clinton. I thought this girl must be a low-IQ organism, or suffering from serious brain damage.
Anyway, her nick doesn't seem so bad -FLYNDANCE- that's quite a unique one.
But I was warning myself: Hello, this is the virtual world of Internet. Who knows what might be lurking behind a beautiful nick.
Talking from experience, most of the time it will be a 'dinosaur' in disguise. The only difference will be whether it is a carnivore or a herbivore but, I know she is way different from a 'dinosaur', she is special...
So I guess its time for the appearance of FlyNDance.
Ever since she mailed to tell me that I am 'interesting', I was always wishing to meet her in MEMORIES. Too bad, lady luck was just not on my side. So I can only reply her letter to tell her that I will start to train myself to become an 'interesting' person, just to show that she is far-sighted.
She replied my reply, I replied her reply to my reply, she again replied my reply to her reply blah blah blah... Oh no, I just started a chain-reaction.
Actually what interested me the most is this paragraph she wrote in one of the mails....
'I dance swiftly, amidst the crowd. Your glance on me be it surprise, be it admiration, it ain't going to stop my rhythm. Because it's not your glance that made me dance, it's my heart of youth.'
I simply cannot relate this girl to any of the 'dinosaurs'. But if she really is a dinosaur, I am willing to let her have her fill.
Tye, my best pal unfortunately, noticed my little affair with FlyNDance, and has been perpetually warning me about this.
"HELLO! You don't even know what she looks like, why take the risk?? Maybe she' is a guy!"
I can't blame Tye for his ignorance. Ever since he was dumped by Sally in Secondary 4, he has become a renowned 'playboy'.
As the saying goes: "Once bitten, Twice shy".
In this case, after Tye was bitten, he has mastered the art of skinning snakes alive, and make them into soup. But he got all the factors to be a playboy, I always think he is the 22 year-old version of Brad Pitt.
Tall, handsome and got this tongue that causes diabetes in every women he targets. I don't think he can even remember how many girlfriends he has had.
I went online that night, log onto channel #MEMORIES and yes!
She is there.
Before I can get over the surprise and the daze, she sent me a message.

"Hey Slorr, so late liao haven't sleep ah?"

Now what? Now what? Ok ok, I had to calm down first. I swallowed hard on my saliva, took a few deep breaths.
Now where is that Tye when I needed him most at such crucial moment, somebody to tell me what to say to her. How am I going to attract her with my pathetic humor, which has gone stale.

"Slorr, me in a foul mood today. Can't sleep, you leh?"

MOTHER'S (direct translation to Chinese), what Slorr Slorr...
Now when I read it twice in a row, I am beginning to feel disgusted in that nick Tye gave me. Tye said that: "Who knows, it might attract some innocent gals in talking to you."

"I am not feeling very good too. So let's sad together."

Finally squeezed a sentence out, but I can already feel droplets of sweat forming on my forehead. Actually I am not in a bad mood, I just wanna follow up her topic that's all.
And if she ask for the reason for my feeling down, I can say:

"Since you are feeling down, how can I ever be happy?"

I know it sounds mushy, but Tye said: "MUSHINESS IS THE FUNDAMENTAL TO ALL COURTSHIP."
And gals are a very weird species, they trust their ears far more than their eyes. So instead of doing 10 things to impress her, why not just say a sentence to move her.

"Ok, but you haven't greet me leh."

DAMMIT!.. how can I forget simple manners to gals. To think they call me 'MR COURTEOUS' in school.

If this thing ever leaks out in school, I would lose all my female fans.

"Nice to meet you, miss long-hair."

"I've been wishing that she's keeping long hair.

Tye said that: "FlyNDance... hmm.. she would either be long-haired or a desperado, 'COs when gals dance, only 2 parts of them may fly: hair and skirt. So if she doesn’t has long hair, that means her skirt flies when she dances, AH-HA!!.. this has a certain sexual hint in it...haha.."

"Eh? How you know I got long hair?"

BINGO! Heaven is on my side this time. It goes to prove that she is not a DESPERADO. Yes!

"Not only that, I also know you seldom wear skirt."

I increased the stake, if I am correct this time, peace on earth forever.

"Err... I guess you are right lor. But how you know one?"

"Just guess."

"Ok lor. Hey Slorr, tell you what, me tired liao, you coming online
tomorrow morning?"

"Ya, why??"

"Please please please say the you coming too, if not I am going to kill myself for letting you go tonight. I'll see ya tomorrow at 10 am then. Good night."

"Er.. should be today at 10 am.. ok.. good night too."

I just blurted out a last sentence ....Offline.
Suddenly I was so impressed by my performance just now.
But is the season of spring really arriving for me?? I wish...............

"Slorr, what a coincidence ahh"

"Yeh, I am not late."

"Ya lor, so qiao."

Girls are weird, I thought we already had an arrangement, why do I have to pretend that its not.

They must have watched too many movies, and like to think that guys they met due to the thing called 'fate' is the best thing that can happen to their love life.

"Slorr, you talking nonsense lah."

"NONSENSE? Ok, let me tell you what is nonsense. Summer's beach, the guy must be good at running, with broad shoulders, dark complexion with a tint of redness, sparkling eyes and loud laughter. Then he will call out loud the name of the girl, running towards her, carry her and spin 3 rounds anticlockwisely."

"Slorr, you siao liaoz ahh?"

"I siao? Ok, let's change a location then. Deep in the mountains, the guy must have long hair, gotta have the look of an artist, carries a sketching stand, a few pieces of drawings, and you can see birds stop over at his side admiring his work. And there will be a girl whose the model, most probably naked."

"Slorr, but these all very romantic mah."

"ROMANTIC? Hello miss, romance only survive in novels and movies. In real life, the guy on the beach may step onto broken glass or the girl may be too heavy which tore his arm muscles.
Birds may just clear their waste on top of the guy in the mountains, or he might get a thrashing from the girl because he comments on the excess fats around the waist and hips."

"Slorr, you hate romance?"

"I hate romance? Nope, I am just using my knowledge of statistics to get a deduction, that guys must be TALL to be romantic, not HANDSOME!!! Some love novels even portrayed the guy as normal looking, but no-one dares to challenge the height of him! I object, because I am not tall."

"?Slorr.... objection overruled..."

I think I am really outstandingly bo liao, talking to her about these until noon.

"Slorr, are you hungry?"

"Ya, you leh?"

"Yes, guess its time for lunch...Slorr.."

"Then do you think we should?"

"Slorr, I am just asking. I don't intend to have lunch with you."

"Ok, good. I am not romantic, neither are you."

I had lunch with Tye, we talk about the conversation with FlyNDance this morning.

"You moron. Told her you are not romantic, you siao ah? You have disgraced me man. How can you make such a big mistake?"

"....I...I..."

Tye grabbed a chicken wing with chopstick, and I can see the trembling of the hand and the wing.

"There are 3 'don'ts' in chasing a girl...
One, don't forget to be romantic;
Two, don't be too honest;
Three, don't be too stingy on the sugar in our speech.
In mandarin, we say 'nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai', you should know this."

"This I know, but it has been a controversial topic over centuries. Women aren't really that, cheap"

"So why would they only falls for 'bad guys' like me?"

"That's because 'bad guys' are usually romantic. Those 'nice guys' are usually, dumdums. So she would rather choose a romantic 'bad guy' rather than any of those dumdums. In math we call this 2C1, understand? dumdum."

Oh, Tye is talking about math! Now I understand. No wonder I have always been left on the shelf.

"In other words, gals wouldn't mind if you are not tall... if you are not handsome... they can bear with your inconsiderate acts... can forget your stupidity... but they can never forgive if you are not romantic..."

"Come on, this is so exaggerating."

"Hey, most women have a 'knot' for romance, just like most men have a 'knot for virginity. To women they just can't understand how precious the thin layer of membrane is to men. Same thing, men can't imagine how important women treats romance."

"This is bullshit! How come I've never heard of that."

"The key word is 'knot', if you can untie it, fine. But how many had actually succeeded in that. Practically none."

"Ok, fine. Now I've done it. So what should I do to remedy the situation?"

"Face it. You are hopeless already. I promise you I'll have a drink with you when you and her are over."

You SON OF A BXXCH.

Midnight. I am trying to concentrate on my physics notes...

F=ma, v=u+at...

It's really a wonder that nature can be explained by just a few formulas and equations, and this we call science.
Then why is astrology and palmistry being labeled as superstitions?
Science should only be one of the ways to explain truth, what can't be explained by science, it doesn't necessary mean that it's unreal....
Close to 1 am. Since I can't get anything into my head, I shall try my luck on net then, maybe she is there.

"Slorr, you here."

"Finally, good night to you "

'FINALLY'? Strange word to use it here. What is she doing here at this hour? Must be feeling down again.

"Yes, it is fate that brought me to you at this moment."

I am trying very hard to convince her that I am a bit romantic.

"Slorr, nothing to do with fate. I waited for you for one hour liaoz..."

"Sure or not? For what?"

"Talk to you mah or else I can't sleep."

"You sick is it? Go see doctor lah "

"Slorr, let's continue our topic.

What do you think of relationships that began from the Internet?"

Oh my god, how should I answer her now?

"It's... it's very... romantic..."

Indeed I am not a good liar, even my words are shaking now.

"Slorr, you bluffing. You not romantic one mah."
GAME OVER. I am finished! No choice but to drink with Tye.

"Slorr, you lagging? Or just daoing me?"

"No, I am wondering why is the sky so chio tonight?"

"No no no. Don't try to shift the topic, Slorr."

Sigh. I give up. I asked for it myself.

"Actually I think relationships started from cyberspace is considered as ROMANTIC, cos romance gives people an impression of unreal, and cyberspace is virtual."

"Slorr, that's interesting."

"Surfers keep a safe distance from each other and usually 3 types of people are produced in this way.

The first type....

The first type are those who present themselves on net with their secondary personality'. Usually all of us consist of multiple personalities and in everyday life, what we present to the world is the 'primary personality', with the secondary one being suppressed, or maybe we don't even realised this other trait of us deep inside. So Internet is the place where this side of us is revealed, both intentionally or without conscious knowledge."

"Is it true? What about 2nd type?"

"The 2nd type are those who will transform themselves into the kind of man/woman he/she would want to be. There's bound to be 1 or 2 characteristics that you particularly admire, too bad, sometimes these characteristics are just couldn't be found in you. Cyberspace is the perfect location for this transformation to occur."

Slorr, you blowing cow, is it? Type 3 leh?"

"I am not blowing cow, I read it from an article of TIMES magazine! Type 3 will be those who transform themselves into characters which are impossible for them to become in real life.
For example, if you are a girl, you may act as a man on net. You may even become BATMAN or SUPERMAN if you want."

"Hmmh.. That's pretty amazing."

"The first type is the 'faithful' type, 'cos its his own personality that is being presented on net.
The 2nd type is the 'foolish' type, 'cos he knows only how to admire others always forgets his own strong points.
The 3rd type is the 'pathetic' type, 'cos he is wishing 4 some impossible."

"Slorr, then you belong to what type? Me leh?"

"I don't wish to believe you are type 3, 'cos I am not.
I crossed the possibility of type 1 'cos its too common, because I think you are special. Being able to attract you, I think I am at least a bit special. So we belong to type 2."

"Type 2, then who you wish to become? Slorr.."

I certainly would like to become a person like Tye, humorous, romantic and eloquent, cause these are what I am lacking of.

"Slorr, what about me?"

"You? I don't know. you want to FLY and DANCE, probably that means you wish to fully enjoy your youth while you can. But if this is something you wish yet you can't achieve, then there's 2 possibilities:
1, you are aging
2, you are leaving the world."

I think I said something wrong, cos she didn't sent me anymore message after this. I began to blame myself for being so perverted, why talk about these things?

I should have discussed with her whether ZOE or FANN, who should be the queen of Caldecott Hill. Damn that TIMES magazine! Poisons my mind. Maybe she's lagging. So I waited... and waited. Girl, its just a few minutes, but it felt like several hours. I want to apologize, but do not know how to start, until she sent me this message:

"Slorr... let's meet..."

Without hesitation, I used the hand that I had used it over 21 years to wipe my ass, typed 'O-K'.

I am supposed to meet FlyNDance tonight , 8pm, at the entrance of McDonalds the one beside YMCA. That's the best time and place to meet a girl you have never met before, according to Tye, cause they would have taken their dinner by that time which means we can simply go inside the Mac and have some fries and coke.

She will be wearing a whole set of coffee theme attire and I will be wearing my usual blues, this is our way of identification.
She told me she is not those 'cute gals' I may think she is, I said never mind, I am not
Brad-pitt either. Then she told me she has long ago given up on this hope already.

"Slorr, you are early."

While I was idling, a girl tapped my shoulders from my back.
Although I was already mentally prepared for anything that's going to appear in front of me, I was still astonished by this girl who stood in front of me now.
If not for the coffee theme and that 'Slorr', I would think she is only asking for directions. She is one of those 'chio bu' that can only be found on Orchard Road, which I usually see while crossing the road. Maybe I suffered from a serious concussion due to the heavy blow, my mind was extraordinarily calm.

"Had your dinner right? I think we shall go inside the Mac first."

"You are pretty smart huh? A good way to save money indeed."

AIYA! She knows me so well, I can only give her an innocent smile back.
Since she's so pretty, I ordered 2 LARGE cokes, and even ordered TWO packets of fries.

"This time you treat, next time I'll let you treat."

I am not falling for that, miss. But I am glad she mentioned 'next time'.

"Slorr, are you disappointed when you saw me just now?"

DISSAPPOINTED? Are you drunk?

"Why do you think I will be disappointed then?"

"Cos I told you I am not cute mah, so you must be quite dissappointed when you saw me"

She is making zero-sense, but I know she is just trying to hint that she's actually cute.

"Then why did you have to lie that you are not cute?"

"Slorr. I said I am not cute. I didn't say I am not pretty."

#$%$##%^*&%$@!!!

"But you are also quite decent looking what it's not like what you described to me too."

'DECENT'? A very vague word. To many gals, decent=boring. One good thing is that she didn't lie to me about the fact that she is keeping long hair. She also has a fair complexion which reminds me of HL milk I take almost everyday.
It is now only that I found out she is from Temasek Poly.

Sitting in front of each other, we talk about many things. From her obsession with coffee to my hobby of watching movies. BTW, she had completely shook off my misconception of 'if she is pretty, she is brainless'
She appears to be an attractive girl, both physically and character wise, talking, smiling to me, occasionally being a little sarcastic and nasty.
It's like a dream.

We left the Mac at around 10 pm. Since it's still early, I decided to send her home even though its Pasir Ris, the other side of the train line from mine.
I must have been mesmorised by her beauty.

"Slorr, congratulations! You are officially permitted to date me from now on."

She said this before the lift door closed.

Back at home, I realized that I hadn't asked for her real name, maybe it's the influence of that stupid Tye.
Tye told me:
Never ask a pretty girl her name the first time you meet her, cos there are already too many wolves out there dying to know, so she will be more interested in you if you act bochap.
Then why didn't she ask for mine? Don't tell me there's a female version of Tye telling her not to?

It's again 1 am. Time to meet her in #MEMORIES.

"Hi! Slorr you tired?"

Of course I am tired after all the surprises she presented me, I would go straight for my bed if not for her. But why is she here also? Isn't she tired too?

"Long time no see how are you?"

"Slorr you siao ah? 2 hours only leh... miss me?"
"A)Yes B)Of Course C)Abuden D)Dying to see you E)All of above. Answer is E.

Seems like she is really tired, even the smiling face are yawning to me right now.

"You wanna go for a movie tomorrow?"

Maybe I should ask her now, while she is half asleep, hoping that she will blur-blurly click 'OK'.

"Should be no problem. What show?."

HOOOOORAY!! I am cheering for her fatigue.

"We decide what show tomorrow. Anyway what's important is watch with who.
Not the show."

Tye's favourite line, I am just borrowing it.

"You should go sleep now lah."

"Wait one little while. You haven't tell me you tired or not?"

"Ok lah, A bit. You leh?"

"I am exhausted but have to say good night to you first. Slorr, if not I can't sleep."

"Me too."

I can't believe I am doing this SILLY business right now.

"Ok I tell you what I count 1,2,3. Then we log off together."

"Ok good night Slorr."

"Same to you"

"1..."

"2..."

"3..."
------------------

I never talk whenever I am inside a cinema, and now is the best time for my mouth to rest, so I spent the following 3 hours to admire this much-talked-about movie of the century, Titanic.

I am not a romantic person, so it's perfectly understandable if I can't really appreciate this motion picture fully, except for all those stunning special effects. But something struck me when Jack said to Rose before he sank into the deep.....

"Rose, listen to me... listen.... winning that ticket was the best thing that had happened to me... it brought me to you....and I am thankful, Rose... I am thankful...."

Suddenly I felt much fortunate than Jack, because I don't have to risk my life to board Titanic, all I have to do is to switch on my PC every night.

But he's one lucky guy too, because he knows how to draw, and just look at how slowly he was drawing Rose, that made me blame myself for the lack of this talent. But to her, this movie wasn't just about drawings or special effects. I noticed that packet of tissue paper she was holding in her hand. and just when Rose said: "I promise... I will never let go, Jack... I'll never let go.."
She opened up her sling bag and here comes the reserve handkerchief. Damn that Celine Dion, why on earth did she had to sing that "MY HEART WILL GO ON at the end of the show, for all the female species inside the theater, its like "MY TEARS WILL ALSO GO ON".

"Ok, movie ended. Let's go."

I stood up, spoke to her gently, worried that every single word I breathe out might just crush onto her, and kill her. She continued to sit on the position, looking at me with her beautiful eyes that just came back from a swim.

After a while, she said "Slorr, movie ended, but life goes on. Am I right?"

I nodded my head. But I just wished somebody might give me some clue of what she was saying. Finally we managed to leave Cineleisure, since its still early, we decided to take a walk down the street.

Along the way, she seems unusually quiet. So I guess Tye was right about the 'TITANIC FLU', he said that gals often got so mentally distressed after watching this show, and it's the best time to launch an emotional attack on her, that's why Tye had watch Titanic for over 5 times roughly.

Her eyes were focused on the path or the crowds but I know her mind was still left on Titanic, sinking with her, waiting for somebody to pull her up.
I just kept my mouth shut. I know I am not a good swimmer. We walked to Plaza Singapura. Suddenly she stopped in front of a Christian Dior counter.

"Slorr, have you read a novel called 'Fragrance'?"

"Err..nope. Why do you ask?"

"Look at this 'DOLCE VITA' from Christian Dior. It's what the guy bought for her girlfriend in the story on her birthday. And he told her 'DOLCE VITA is French, meaning 'SWEET TIMES'"

She pointed to a bottle of perfume at the counter, but I was more interested at the price tag around the neck of the bottle.

"Oh... is it?"

"Slorr, then do you consider today as 'sweet times'?"

"At first I do, but some points are deducted since you started crying."

"That means it can only be considered a little bit sweet, I'll buy the small bottle then."

I insisted to pay for the perfume as her birthday present from me since I know her birthday is coming soon, this kind of saves me a lot of trouble of finding a present for her. Luckily it's just perfume, or I would have to pawn my underwear if that guy in the story gives her girlfriend diamond or gold bar.

"Are you hungry? Wanna sit down and have something?"

"I don't have appetite, what about you?"

"You eat, I eat..."

Her eyes are red again. I am such a fool. Finally got away from the noisy crowd at the MRT station, walking on the 42nd street of Pasir Ris.
Contrastingly, it's so quiet now that I even can hear the rhythm of her heartbeat."

"Slorr, do you know what's the correct way of applying perfume?"

I shook my head. In fact, I had never used a perfume or cologne before, medicated oil maybe.

"First you apply some behind your ears, then your neck and wrists. After that spray some onto the air, then walk through it."

"Sure or not?"

"In that case this little bottle won't even be able to last you for 3 days"

"Slorr, shall we try?"

"We? You go ahead. I am a MAN."

She opened up that DOLCE VITA, behind her ears, neck then the wrist she applied some and she really did spray some onto the air!!

WAHPIANGZ!! Expensive leh! Finally she stretched out her hands, facing up like enjoying the raindrops falling on her face.

"Hahaha...."

"Slorr, this is so fun! Now its your turn."

She went through the same procedures with me and I can feel the coldness of her fingers. Maybe it's the perfume, I guess.

"Slorr, get ready, I am going to spray!!"

I imitated her. Face up and walked through my first perfume rain.

"Slorr let's have another round!!"

"WHAT!! Serious?"

My money isn't easy to come by leh!! Before I can collect the broken pieces of my heart, she had walked through her second round. She was even more excited this time, hopping around, like her nickname. A flying and dancing butterfly. Late night of Pasir Ris, the street smells unusually nicer right now. Until we finished the whole of that DOLCE VITA.

"DOLCE VITA is exhausted."

"I guess this sweet time shall end now too. Slorr, I'll go up now. Tonight
1 am, I won't be online, and you are not to do so too."

"Huh? But why?"

"Go online at 12pm tomorrow. You will know.... Remember, only 12pm..."

She turned and walked into the lift. At the same time, I saw an obvious pink patch behind her neck, which is visible only now because she tied her hair.
I looked up towards her window on the 10th floor from below, but it never lit up.

I switched off the light in my room. Engulfed in the absolute darkness. I wished to have the same kind of feeling as her right now. I realized in complete darkness, the easiest mood one gets... is loneliness. She must be lonely right now, half asleep.

I almost can see a beautiful butterfly, turning to ashes amidst the sea of flame. And that patch behind her neck.. from pink it became red. Then burgundy. Slowly, it swallowed me. Was it the cause of that cup of Baileys just now?

Suddenly I felt cold and shaky. And that coolness seemed to have come straight from my heart, the rate of my heartbeat was an exponential function of time as it got closer to 1 am.

USE A DIFFERENT NICK!!

Checked..

She isn't there; my heart was beating fast. But the temperature remained below healthy level....
------------------------

Finally it’s 12 p.m., excited as I was, logged on the net, yet there was still no sign of FlyNDance. But there's a mail from her:

Dear Slorr,
At first I thought it will be easier for me to settle down in the darkness.. recollecting memories we have shared... but all I felt was loneliness..... Can you feel it too?...

I still can't change the habit of logging on at 1am... so I used a different nick to sneak into MEMORIES... you don't blame me right?...:P... you weren’t there... should I feel glad for your obedience?.... you said both of us belonged to TYPE 2... the foolish type...maybe you are right!... cause I really do admire those who dares to fight for their desires... I stroke my hair gently when you said that I am leaving the world... and a few strands of hair fell..... No!... doctor told me its not a terminal disease... and doctor aren't supposed to lie!!?... I still can live like a normal person...
BUT CAN I ?

FlyNDance... is it really something I won't be able to do?... After the first meeting with you at Mac... I started to realize that you are not only a virtual being living in the cyberspace... in reality you are strong, gentle and sensitive.... I can feel the defense Wall of my heart is slowly breaking apart.... I am defeated... I tied my hair today.. cause my fren told me that I look more attractive this way...

I want you to remember my face as it is today... cause after today... everything may change.... But why didn't you ask for my real name? ..that’s why I never asked for urs...

I am a girl mah..:P... do you realized how I wish to have something more than a nick to take along with me? ...Slorr... thank you for the DOLCE VITA. Finally got a taste of what sweet times are like... but I am really sorry.

... I just couldn’t bear to say goodbye.....

Since it started from a mail.... it should end with a mail too.... Its been 2 months and 2 days since the very first mail... not a very long time but it isn't short either.... our story began from me... and I will end it.

Maybe its what you said... 'Internet is fast and convenient, but it isn't perfect'.... I can send you my thoughts right away... but not my tears...
It’s about 5.30am now.... time to go.... by the time you receive this mail...
I would be trying to settle down somewhere else.... I don't know....
Good Bye

With lotsa love,
FlyNDance

After reading her mail, I felt as if I had just experienced a roller-coaster ride which almost derailed. She had shown me the other side of her, soft and sensitive.

For a couple of months, I was trying to hypnotize myself, to suppress my feelings whenever I started to think about her again. Perpetually I was telling myself, she is just one virtual character that fly and dance in the net, but never in the real world. I became a fugitive, escaping from my PC, escaping from the Internet and anything that has to do with coffee. Hide myself behind the piles of lecture notes, behind the crowd of people, trying to get rid of this thought of missing something in life.

But I failed. I found out that its not that I don't miss her, its just that I had forgotten the passion that always comes along when you are having something hanging on your mind all the time. Its like I cannot breathe, it’s just that I had forgotten the fact that I have been breathing in and out for the past 19 years.

I can hold my breath for a while, but not forever.

I have to find her!

"Err... I am looking for ... er..FlyNDance...."

"HUH??..."

'Huh', this is the exact word I was expecting from her.

She seems to be FlyNDance's elder sister, 20++, looked quite a beauty too even without any makeup. But of course, still can't be compared with her. I explained to her my purpose for knocking on the door and told her that I am no stalker whom she might think I am.

Surprisingly when I told her my disgusting nick, Slorr, she appeared to be rather excited and quickly she scribbled something on a small piece of paper and handed it to me.

"You should go and see her. SGH, Room 3-425."
---------------------------

This is the first time I've ever stepped into the Singapore General Hospital. It's a dust-free space, everything looked so clean, tidy and arranged.

But I don't like the feeling it gave me... I entered room 3-425, she was there, in a deep sleep. I stood by her, watching.

Her hair was still as long as before, laying across the soft, white pillow.

Her face looked roundish now, I know it's the side-effect of the medicine. And the pinkish-red patch that was on her neck, had spread to her face appearing in a shape of a butterfly.

Nevertheless, she was still the most beautiful butterfly I've ever seen.

Her eyelashes twitched slightly, she must be dreaming, what's that in her dream?

McDonald's fries and coke? Sinking Titanic? Or the rain at Pasir Ris St. 42? The room was getting darker as the clock approaches 6pm.
I wanted to switch on the light. I hate to see her lying lonely under the shadow of a patient's room.

But I am worried that her dreams might be disturbed by the sudden light rays. While I was in a dilemma, her eyes opened slowly. Her eyes were wide on me, then she turned away suddenly.

I can only see her back at this moment. She lost weight. After a long time, she turned to face me again, rubbed her eyes and smiled....

"Slorr, you are here!"

"Yes, nice weather today, isn't it?"

"Ya lor, sky also very chio today? Right? Heehee.."

SKY VERY CHIO...

I can still remember this was the conversation we had in one of our MEMORIES meetings."

But she didn't realize that it's raining today.

"Slorr, why are you standing there. Sit down."

Thanks for reminding me. I just found out that my legs were numbed due to the several hours of standing.

"Slorr, you lost weight."

ME? I thought I should be the one who's telling this to her!?

"Slorr, you hungry? Had your lunch? Food here isn't so good. That's why patients like me always slim down a bit. Apart from that, it's quite ok. But sometimes I feel really bored without a PC here to talk to you.."

"Slorr, how's your project? Sure did very well right?"

WAIT A MINUTE! You are the one who's lying on bed right now not me! Yet, I had nothing to ask her actually.

Because I was there to see her, not to find out the answers to those questions. Maybe now its the time for me to utter some touching lines like what's in the case of a movie.

But I am not a Romantic person... moreover...

Movies are fiction.
Life isn't.
---------------------

I just wished that she could leave this place as soon as possible back to Pasir Ris St. 42, back to Temasek Poly, back to where she belonged. And I promised she won't be alone anymore, because I will always be there.

After a while, her mum was here to see her. Around the age of 50, slightly overweight. Other than the cheerful smile, she didn't really remind me of FlyNDance.

"Err, I think i've gotta go now. Bye bye auntie."

"You....You..."

She sat up straight in a sudden, like if she'd experienced a tremendous shock.

"I'll be here again tomorrow.. and the day after tomorrow... until you leave this place..."

Before I went back home, I went to Plaza Singapura again to buy that Christian Dior Dolce Vita... and I've got the biggest bottle this time, that she can even swim in it.

I try not to close my eyes that night, I want to go to her as soon as the first sun ray shoots into my room....

"Slorr.. you are here.. i've been waiting for you for a long time..."

"Had a good night's rest?..."

"Oh... I didn't allow myself to fall into a deep sleep because I know you won't wake me up when your here."

"Then you should take a rest now."

"Err, since you are here already, I don't think I can..."

I gave her the Dolce Vita, and we'd agreed that we would dance in the rain in front of SGH main entrance the day she's discharged.

I dare not look straight at her, because there's a butterfly on her face.
It was only last night before I leave SGH that I found out she's suffering from an illness called ERYSIPELAS. What the clergymen would term the BUTTERFLY DISEASE...

But what I like is the coffee butterfly that is able to dance around freely not that pinkish-red butterfly that settled on her pale complexion. Moreover, what's a butterfly if it can't fly?

"Slorr, why are you looking at me and not talking?"

I don't know, because I noticed that she's getting weaker physically. I had a bad feeling about this.

"Slorr, I am thirsty, can you get me a drink?"

I am not leaving her at this moment. I can still remember a movie about this guy who went all the way to get red bean soup for his girlfriend who's on sickbed and to find her lying silently on the white bedsheet when he came back... never to wake up again...

"Are you trying to get rid of me, like what's in that movie?"

"Slorr, movie is movie, life is life..."

MOVIE? LIFE?....

"But I thought you just had a drink? Anyway, so what can I get for you?"

"Ultimate Ice Blended!!"

This is a hospital leh!! Did she think I can find Coffee Bean everywhere on this island? Like McDonalds, what's more coffee wasn't suitable for her at that time.

"Err... coffee isn't good for health, order something else, ok?

"So you know coffee isn't good for the body too. Then you should cut down on your intake also, ok?"

I saw her smile appearing and there's a shine in her eyes. I realized that she's just trying to tell me not to drink too much coffee in the future.

My heart seemed to have suffered from a heavy blow.

This is not good. A taste of pH7 has started to fill my nose. If this is not going to stop, tears might be the next thing that appears in front of her.

I recalled the chapter on reservoir and dam in physics textbook. Quickly applied the knowledge on myself. Even if it's just a few droplets.

"Ok, I promise, I'll try my best."

"And try to sleep earlier in the future and don't skip breakfast..."

"It's important to you and don't be too obsessed with blue. It makes you look troubled and....."

This didn't sound good. It's like giving the final instructions before she. I can't bear to let her continue.

"Ok ok, I'll go get you a drink right away."

"Slorr, is the machine far away? If it is, then its ok, I don't want it anymore."

From my mental calculation, men would take 67 steps while women would take 85 steps to reach the vending machine right at that corner. Plus the time taken to purchase, average would take a total of 1.8 to 2.1 minutes. Not very far.

"Quite near."

"Slorr, come back quick. I don't want to be alone for too long... I hate that feeling."

I didn't answer her. I just increased my pace....
-----------------------------------
-----------------------------------

"Eh... its late already... go to sleep..", my mum was nagging at me again.

"Ok ok.... 10 more minutes..."

Until today, FlyNDance had left for more than 2 mths.

I still logged on at 1 am every night, but onto channel DOLCE-VITA which was created by myself, with Slorr and FlyNDance being the only 2 nicks inside, for 10 minutes.

Although she won't be able to fly and dance in real life anymore, but I still wish that she could continue to do so in the virtual world.

Even Tye has given up on me...

"She's gone, why are you still doing this? For what?!!"

Yet, even if that's the case, I can't allow her soul to be left at the corner of loneliness. Because she said she hated the feeling of being alone.

I still remember there was a heavy downpour on that day. When I reached SGH they told me... A coffee butterfly flew away from her room at around 1 am last night....
After that... I can't remember...
I just knew that I stood at the bus-stop for a whole day and I was all wet because of the rain. Even my face.
I've been trying hard not to think of her over these 2 months. I've been hoping that her face won't appear in my mind every moment that I breathe, but it's like hoping that the sky isn't blue; the grass isn't green; the stars do not twinkle at night...
Basically, I was hoping for something impossible to happen. I can't believe that I am of Type 2, even in real life.

Did I cry?.. NO WAY!..

I said it before, I am not a romantic person, and this may be due to the deficiency in the hormones that constitutes emotions. Whenever I had the feeling of pH7, I'll browse through those 'FWDS:jokes...' Attention will then be shifted by those dim-wit, low-class jokes...

So now everything is back to the way it was before I met her 9 mths ago.
Tye is still flirting around, and I am still the old decent=dull me. But I've stopped taking coffee and Baileys.

"Ron ah, is this for you?"

My mum handed me a letter she picked up in the mailbox this morning.
I was surprised when I saw 'To:slorr...' written on the envelope.
That's for me I guess. I opened it up, there was a piece of writing inside, and another coffee envelope.

Slorr,
I am FlyNDance's sister, I think this is how you are addressing her. I am sorry that I do not know your real name, although we'd met before.

When I was packing her stuffs a few days ago, I found this letter with your name and address already written on it.

So I posted it to you, because I believe this is what my sister intended to do.

Best wishes,
Xiao Wen

The letter was sent 3 days ago, and there was another:

'To:slorr...'

Followed by my home address written on the coffee envelope. But this handwriting was a lot nicer and the words seemed to be moving swiftly...like in a joyful dance.

I have no time to figure out how she has gotten my home address. Did I give her in one of my mails?

I tried to control my trembling hands, slowly, I opened up the envelope. I found a photo, and a half of a movie ticket inside.

Apart from these, there was a blue letter... with the familiar DOLCE VITA smell on it. The photo showed her, standing on a piece of grassland, wearing the same coffee theme attire on our first meeting at McDonalds.

Something was written at the back of it....

Dear slorr,
Coffee represents Scorpio.. that's me. Blue represents Sagitarius.. that's you. A blue letter inside a coffeee envelope.... know what I mean?

Seeing me, do you feel like drinking coffee now? Stop drooling! :P

FlyNDance

I smiled.... bitterly. The contents of the blue letter is simple:

If I have one more day to live, I want to be your girlfriend. Do I have one more day? No. Too bad. I can't be your girlfriend... not in this life.
If I have wings, I want to fly down from the paradise just to see you. Do I have wings? No. Sadly. I can never see you again.

If all the water are drawn out of the bath-tub, but it still can't put off the flame of love btw us. Can all the water in a bath-tub be drawn off? Can.

So yes. I LOVE YOU.

FlyNDance

My chest was torn apart... tears broke through the dam I constructed a long time go in a jiffy.

As proud, as emotionless as I was, I can't pull back the salty wetness that's on the whole of my face anymore.

She has changed my 'little theory' and gotten back what I'd owed her... tears for 2 months....
-----------------------------------

Titanic won 11 awards in the Oscars, including best picture.

Yet, Rose wasn't the best actress under that category. So if it's sad in a movie, it may not be so fortunate too in real life. And in reality, should Jack hold on to Rose and 'Never let go?'

Maybe he shouldn't be worried about this. cause that beautiful coffee butterfly will continue to fly and dance in his heart.. forever...'

I don't know what happened...

2007-10-11T15:08:00.000+08:00

I don’t know what happened…

Its human nature, to always take something for granted without noticing it until you about to lose it, or have lost it. Then only you realize the importance of that something to you and how much it really means to you.

I realized my wrong. For I have taken her for granted at times. Now that I’m willing to change, I couldn’t be given another chance. I was overly defensive, too possessive, dictatorial, and overly protective. And all she wanted was just some freedom. How I wish I could really be given one more chance. To make it up to her, to prove to her I really am able to give her the freedom that she always thought I could provide.

It is during these times, when humans will receive their wake up call then only they realize they’ve gotta change, for the better. I’m no different from any other and now I’ve really gotten my wake up call. One more chance is all I need, to be able to make things work again.

Facing the aftermath...

2007-10-11T05:33:00.000+08:00

I got caught red handed by beating the red light. I just only got my license and now, that offense will deduct all the 12 points I have plus a fine of $200. I was so sad, only just got my license for a couple of weeks and now, I have to face this. I drove down to her house after that and she leaned over to give me a hug, trying to console me. She refused to let go, till I felt some wetness on my shoulder. She was crying!! She knew that I was sad and she shared that sadness with me. She cried for me. I was heartbroken to see her crying. I pulled her infront of me, and wiped off those tears with my fingers. I was so touched I gave her a hug this time, a tighter one… and told her ‘I love you’. But those three words were not enough to express how deeply I felt for her.

What is love?

Love is sharing everything of the other half. Be it troubles, worries, happiness, money, whatever! I believe I’ve found my love this time. Someone that will actually cry for you? That’s something I’ve never come across in my life. I’ve found that someone of my life... My Bao Bei is so sweet, she’s so cute. The prettiest person I’ve ever seen in my life and undoubtedly the person I love the most.

That is how much I love(d) her. ..

This is what exactly I wanted to post on my blog that very night when I got home but I didn’t. For I feared my inexperience with writing such things would make it sound stupid. But now I only have regrets for posting this only at this point of time.

----------------------------

‘Have you had your dinner?’ My auntie asked me.

‘Nope, not yet. But I’m heading out for dinner right after this. With my friends.’

‘Oh… Not meeting your girlfriend for dinner ah?’ She tried to tease me.

‘… Uh… She’s not free today…’

Auntie came over to my house in the afternoon and grandma had a heavy bag of groceries for her. Grandma insisted that I send her back home by car because that bag of groceries was too heavy for her to carry. I had to lie that I was about to go out and it was out of the way for I didn’t have the car with me. It was still undergoing repairs at the workshop, won’t be ready until evening and I didn’t want them to know I met with an accident last night. I offered to deliver the bag of groceries to her later in the evening. And so she left without the bag.

Auntie had doted on me the most since I was a little boy. When I became 18, she’d always ask if I had a girlfriend and would always urge me to find one. Until recently when I told her I had a girlfriend, she has been eagerly wanting to see her ever since.

I went to collect the car, 6:30pm. Drove back home, took the bag of groceries and drove down to her house. She met me at the void deck and as I passed the bag of groceries to her,

‘Have you had your dinner?’

‘Nope, not yet. But I’m heading out for dinner right after this. With my friends.’

‘Oh... Not meeting your girlfriend for dinner ah?’

‘… Uh… She’s not free today…’

I didn’t know how to break the news to her. That the woman I wanted so eagerly to show to her (as well) no longer chooses to stay by my side. I left quickly after wishing her good bye…

I can't hold on anymore...

2007-10-09T17:26:00.000+08:00

Everytime after I’ve sorted my thoughts out and I’ve felt better, feeling ready to move on, something big will come along and crush on me.

After all those incidents I posted on my blog have happened, then came the paypal account issue. Then after that came the confirmation of something I've always dreaded the most. And now, the car accident. Plus lots and lots of small minor problems that just don’t go my way. Inbetween of every incident, I’ve told myself I need to stay strong and move on. Stay strong and move on I did, till problems and problems will always crush on me, bringing me back down to square 1.

What have I done to deserve all these? I wonder…

My car is at the work shop now, undergoing repairs. And here comes another problem. The fees. I’m definitely not going to have enough money to pay for the fees plus, I’m still in debt. Please give me a solution for this…

The paypal account I’ve waited for months to get it going. Now that everything is set and ready to go, its giving me problems and won’t allow me to receive funds till I provide information of something that I don’t have! My shoes will definitely not be able to sell by the dateline given by my mother if I don’t start selling now. And paypal is ever so slow with their replies to my emails.

I believe, the relationship between me and her now is officially over. She has made it very clear that its over between the both of us. I’m regretting now to have fallen in love with a girl so deeply, so deeply that I changed so much without myself knowing. Changed to someone so different from the person she thought I would be till she couldn’t accept me anymore. I don’t know what kind of effect this will have on me in the future. Probably I won’t be able to love anyone else as deeply as I loved her. But deep down inside, I’m still hoping for a chance to be given by her.

I felt so tired, I slept at around 11 in the morning after the long, dreadful night. I dreamt of her again. It has become a routine. And I woke up 4 hours later, not being able to sleep anymore. I’m still tired. Tired from all the things that have crushed on me. Tired from trying to climb up after falling and falling so many times. Tired of my life…

In a fit of anger, I made an entry at my blog. Telling whoever’s up there to not stop crushing me down. And somehow at times after posting that up, I really feel that way. So that I come to a point where I can’t take it anymore and decide upon something that will end my misery...

GREAT!!

2007-10-09T07:42:00.000+08:00

GREAT!! Like the title of this entry I'm going to type.

Its 7:41 am now, and i just got back from a car accident. My car is in a wreck now.

I still look OK from the outside. Other than a few injuries here and there. But I'm all bruised and battered inside.

What more can be thrown at me? PLEASE, whoever's up there, don't stop throwing them at me!
PUSH ME TO MY LIMITS! Till i can't take it and put this all to an end!

我只是要你明白...

2007-10-07T06:11:00.000+08:00

你说你感觉不对

心情很坏

我无法控制

泪水流下来

莫名的难过是情绪作祟

没有谁错谁对需要安慰

不能离开

我只是要你明白

明白我对你的爱

除了你我的爱无可取代

我只是要你明白

明白我对你的爱

没有人让我如此的依赖

因为你我的爱永远存在

This is for those who can't read the chinese words.

On the brink... Of devastation...

2007-10-03T22:27:00.000+08:00

She finally replied!

Its so nice to see an SMS by her together with a picture of her's that accompanies the message. Haven't recieved that in a couple of days, I couldn't wait to open it up to check what was her reply. The conversation only lasted a few messages. But I'll cherish each and everyone of them regardless of the content. For these few messages could well be the last few that we will have as a couple.

Never have I loved a women so much I said a bunch of words in the SMS I never thought I would in my life. I guess I have gotten really too deep into this relationship to let it go just like that. The past few days have been a misery for me. I just hope everything will turn for the better. Or I don't know how I will be able to cope, with life not having her by my side...

Pictures are all that I have left to look at. She would not meet me. Neither do I think she'll answer my phone calls. I'm just glad that she still gives the occasional reply to the SMS's that I sent. Looking at the pictures of her, I recalled some of the beautiful memories that we share; The roadshow... The singing... The 50 dollar cab fare... The surprise visit at my house... Waking up in the morning with her by my side... The present... Miss Apple Martini...
Lots and lots of beautiful memories... I just hope I'll be given a chance to continue accumulating them...

By the most important person in my life...

---------------------------

My life in a few days, have hit an all time low. With all the current issues, comes even more issues.

My pay, is once again delayed...
I've been having sleepless nights...
My pocket is already burnt. But I'm still further hit with a $200 fine.
My driving license is in jeopardy everytime I drive.
I just got back home from a basketball game my team lost. Not on foot. But by having two teammates lift me back home. I sprained my ankle, on the same left foot that hasn't really recovered all these time. The team already shorthanded, and having me out with injury after having less than 5 mins of play time; to watch their exhausted faces, using each and every remaining ounce of enery, dragging their every step up and down the court. I felt useless... At lost... I couldn't watch... I can't walk, and we lost.

I'm hungry now... There's no food at home, and I can't get out of the house...

I'm in a state of depression... Now confined at home... As if living in a box...

Sunday??

2007-10-01T01:10:00.000+08:00

School's started for some time now. And as we (Herman and I) go deeper into the term, assignments and projects start to pile up. I already have 2 assignments and 1 project in hand. They all add up to a humongous amount of 8500 words so far and considering I have another project coming next week, I'll have more than 10,000 words to compose for the coming couple of months. Time to make libraries my best friend again! (ARGH!!)

But I wanna talk about this current Cultural Psychology assignment that I have in hand first. Mainly because we are only given 4 weeks to complete this assignment of 2500 words, and we're already 2 weeks removed from the duration with absolutely nothing done yet!
Given our busy schedules during the weekdays, weekends are our only times we have to work on our assignment. And last week, I dunno why, probably because we were still not in the mood to get serious on our studies yet, we couldn't care less about our assignments and went ahead having fun throughout the weekend, neglecting out assignments. This week, we told each other we need to really get started to work on our assignments, but Herman got drunk (LOL!) at his company event Friday night and found himself awake at his own bed not knowing how he got home! So yea, Saturday got burnt cause he spent most of the day sleeping away. Nothing was done on our assignments. When I met him later in the evening I told him we really needed to work on our assignment the next day and we both agreed. BUT! We end up going to PartyWorld in the afternoon the next day and sang all the way till 5pm then had dinner at Marina, Carl's Jr and when we were having dinner, we were saying to each other;
"Wah.. Really don't feel like studying leh..."
and then like it was correographed before we both said
"Cannot! Must be disciplined!"
So we both finished out huge burgers (we haven't eaten whole day till then) then took turns to execute excretions (inside joke) and by the time we reached the library, it was 7pm.

As I was parking the car at the basement of the National Library at Bugis, I was at it again:
"Here we are, LIBRARY again!!"
and Herman said:
"Ya lor, sian..."
"I think... We just see if we can find the books that we want. Don't need to sit down there and do assignment la"
"(Smiling in agreement) I was thinking of that too!!"
And we both burst into laughter on the fact that we will be skiving again and that we were both on the same book.

---------------

We headed in and got out with what we wanted. We only spent 1 hour in the library, it was still early.
"So, where to next?" I asked as i drove out of the basement.
"I don't know, still kinda early eh?"
"Ya lo, so what you think we can do?"
"Lets go shopping!"
Both of us are broke as hell. Both waiting for our pays to come. We don't have the money to shop. But we still went ahead with the idea, even electing to goto Peninsula Plaza to look at some clothes cause they are cheaper over there.

Most of the shops are closed by the time we were there. There wasn't much to shop. Spent alittle more than half an hour and left. Still not willing to go home, and considering the fact that most of the shops will be closed at this time of the day, we went ahead to Mustafa cause its 24 hours and BOY! it was a real bad decision. The whole place was flooded with indians!!. It was as if they were having a festive celebration or some mad discount spree was going on at all the shops over there. They were crossing the roads (even the main ones) like cars were obstacles in their paths. I got in there and only managed to get out of the area after spending 45mins traveling at 10km/h! None of us wanted to get out of the car for fear of being "molested" (just kidding)!!

Already given up at the idea of shopping (it was already 9:30pm by then), we decided to head back home to the bball court near our houses to watch our friends play bball before ending our day. All of them were gone by the time we reached except for YL. So he hopped into the car and went for supper cause he was hungry and never had dinner. I couldn't eat anymore. The Carl's Jnr meal was too filling. But Herman (that glutton) still ordered a bowl of congee for himself!!

After supper, we all went home and that was the end of the day.

**I have no idea why as i typed, i sorta made it sound like a story. Sometimes when i start typing, i just can't stop. Hope you guys enjoy reading. :)

Patience under stress...

2007-09-29T01:08:00.001+08:00

When you care for someone and advise the person to change for the better which the person promises to, and in the end you don’t get the promise. If its once or twice, I may be able to bear with it. But despite multiple reminders, I still don’t get the promise, which doesn’t do me any good but only for the person. My patience is being tested.

Yes she stayed up for another 1 or 2 hours after another late night so she could give me a morning call. That’s very sweet. But still, I feel like my words don’t mean anything at all and are of absolutely no importance.

“Dunno, maybe later I going XXX with them later. See how.”

Such is the sms I receive again. How am I to feel? Useless? Of no importance?

Guess tomorrow will be a day no different from the others. Where I’ll be awake going about doing my stuff while she sleeps the day away. Every moment of the day, wanting to contact her but afraid to disrupt her from her sleep…

I’m getting tired…

**My weekends from now, will only be occupied with school projects and assignments till the end of the term. Nothing else.**

Back home from a long Day

2007-09-26T23:06:00.001+08:00

I just got home, showered and am enjoying a cuppa Baileys. Another long boring day over. I feel like i haven't really accomplished anything and now I'm about to sleep and that will mark the end of this day.

This has become the routine; I got school now on every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evenings. So on these three days every week, it will start at 7:30am and then end at 10:30pm. This is the life of a part time student working full time. As for Monday evenings, they're reserved for my special someone and Tuesday evenings, they're usually reserved for basketball.

Weekends will be filled with random activities but i'll just sleep them away most of the time cause of the tiring schedule I have during weekdays.

Such is my life. And I'm starting to get real bored of it.

My monotonous life has gotten the better of me and i feel very lethargic, restless and unmotivated every morning when I wake up.

What could be a good solution?

That Special Gift...

2007-09-24T01:18:00.000+08:00

When you have a gift that you’ve kept and cherished for so many years of your life. A gift that has occupied a place in you heart ever its existence, waiting for that special someone to come across in your life so you can present it to her as a token of your love. Yet, you don’t see a face smiling back at you when you have finally waited for the chance. And she seemed to not even bother to accept.

I collapsed…

I said something bad. But that something surely came directly out of my heart. I’ve never been a man good with my words. Maybe the way I presented the gift to her made her think it was just some regular junk that is useless to me and that it could be of some use if I were to pass it to her.

The silver on the gift has lost its shine over the years. Maybe I should get something that’s new and shiny. But throw away the old one that I’ve kept and cherished all these years?

Or maybe that gift is just meant for someone else?

Maybe…

Story of a Little Girl

2007-09-11T09:17:00.000+08:00

Her hair was up in a ponytail

Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
A dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called,
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
For a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
Another dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.

All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,
Even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.

I love my daddy very much,
He's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.

You see he was a fireman
And died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
And taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
That heaven is never too far

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.

Send this phrase to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you.

It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them.

Take the time to live and love. Until eternity. God bless.

There were 10,000 children that lost a parent on 9/11

Job vacancy available...

2007-09-08T13:10:00.000+08:00

Administrative Position
Full or part time.
Full time salary at $1400/mth. Part time salary to be negotiated.
Location @ Woodlands.
(Female applicants preferred)

Holler at me for details. Those that have my number can call me directly. Those that don't have, contact me through email please.

Ever Heard of the gal who wanted to be cremated with her handphone?

2007-09-07T00:04:00.000+08:00

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Ever heard of the girl who wanted to be cremated with her handphone?

This is a true story of a young college girl who past away last month in Shah Alam.
Her name is Priya. She was hit by a lorry. I don't wanna mention the name of the college.
She had a boy friend by the name of Shankar. He stays in Johor. Both of them were deeply in love with each other. They used to spend hours talking on the phone. In fact, you can never see her without her handphone.

She spends 3/4 of the day talking to Shankar. Priya's family knows about her close relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. (Just imagine their love). She used to joke with her friends, "If I pass away, please burn me with my handphone." She also repeated the same thing to her parents.

When she passed away suddenly, the funeral procession could not lift her coffin. I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still can't, everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called their neighbour, a "bomoh" from thailand (Pak Darin), who was a friend of her father.

He took a seat and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "This girl misses something here". Then her friends told Darin about her intentions to have her cremated with her phone. He then opened the coffin and place her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked. (Can you feel the fear? I'm shaking at this moment!)

Priya's parents didn't inform SHankar that Priya had passed away. (Pity Shankar).
After 2 weeks, SHankar called Priya's mom.

Shankar, "Atte, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today. I wanna suprise her."

Her mother replied, "You come home first, I got to tell you something very important."

When he got to Shah Alam, they told him the truth about Priya.

Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "Don't try to fool me. Tell Priya to come out. I have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense".
Then they show him the original death certificate to him. They gave him proofs to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat).

He said, "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me!"

Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang.

"See, this is from Priya. See this..." he showed the phone to Priya's family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation loud and clear. No cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya and there is no way others could use her simcard since it was placed inside the coffin before cremation. They were so shocked and asked for Pak Darin's help again. Pak Darin brought his master (Tok Chen) to solve this matter. He and Darin worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing...

M1 has the best coverage

Stages in Life....

2007-09-03T22:48:00.000+08:00

As I took the MRT to work in the morning, I passed a station that i used to alight at, at least once a week since March this year. That's the stop where I'll alight and go for my driving lessons. But now that I've passed my driving test. I don't think i'll be stopping over there anymore in the near future. The process of waking up early in the morning during weekends, leaving house half hour before driving lessons to take the train to the station where i will meet my instructor, getting lectured by my instructor during the course of driving and then the demoralizing trip back home after each lesson are now history.

They have now officially become memories!!

Last entry of the month.

2007-08-31T23:02:00.000+08:00

I've been lazy. Never really bothered about this blog for the most of this month.

Well, here're some updates.

1) School's started. As usual its as boring as it gets... and psychology is never an easy subject to study.

2) 'wai wei' basketball competition is officially postponed until further notice.

3) Normanton park 3 on 3 competition met with bad weather again. Didn't even bother to go down there.

4) The driving practical test its not that difficult afterall. Gotta really thank my driving instructor for his guidance all these while. Anybody need a good driving instructor living at the west, i highly recomend him to you. Get at me for his contact.

So long.

Get to know yourself better.

2007-08-17T12:05:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

I don't want this to end...

2007-08-17T00:08:00.000+08:00

Holidays are always fun. Aside from the boring work that I still have to go through everyday, I've been enjoying every weekday's evenings; not having to goto school, having the whole evening, every weekday, doing the things I desire, the things I love. And my weekends! Not having to pay regular visits to the library and having thick, thousand over page books as best friends...

BUT

Whenever there's a break, you tend to see a pile up of activities coming up ahead of you and I'm already wondering how will I be able to cope with my upcoming activites come September.

First, there will be school. Three modules, one more that the total of what I had for last term. Almost suffocated with the workload that I had last time. Wondering how i will be able to cope this upcoming term.

Second, Inter-constituency basketball competition. The competition that I take part in yearly. Friendlies and competition days will definitely clash with my school days. I'll have to be decisive and make sure I make the right choice to go for which. There will not be much training for this because all players in the team are working themselves and they don't have time for training. But from the little information that I've had so far, I like the possible lineup for the team this year. If we can get the players to commit to the team, we're gonna be a hard team to beat. Last year's goal was to reach the top 8. But we failed just because of one crucial game where we had to walkover cause mates from my team were occupied with work. Can't come down. With a stronger lineup this year, it shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully we get to win a free overseas trip this year?

Subsequently, 'wai wei' basketball competition. YES! Two basketball competitions at the same time. Never had much info about this. Been waiting for quite some time for this competition to start. But from what i see, its definitely going to clash with the inter-constituency game as well as my school. Training for this competition is going to pick up anytime soon. With a new team this year and being a newbie in this competition. Not expecting much. Maybe just to gain alittle bit of experience. But playing around these buncha teammates sure is fun.

This coming weekend! Normanton park 3-on-3 competition. 2nd time taking part in this competition, last time due to rain, the competition that was half way through had to be postponed to another date and my team had to forgo the competition due to other commitments. This time we'll be back with a vengeance!

Come 30th August, Driving practical test! To be honest with you. I'm still not very confident of myself. To drive a car is easy. But to be able to pass the test, its not that easy. Cause there's just so many extra things you have to do when you wanna pass the test. I just keep forgetting some of them. And there are like 8 or 9 routes that i have to memorise??? Through multiple trail tests with my driving instructor, i've accumulate more fails than passes. With less than 2 weeks to go till the actual test. I think i still have got alot of work to do. Passing this test is rather important for me right now. This is the thing i'm most concerned with at the moment.

Life, just has to be like this... Isn't it?

Monday afternoon... At home

2007-08-06T12:39:00.000+08:00

Woke up in the morning, been stoning infront of the computer not doing anything after i checked my mails, just staring at the screen blankly. Then realise there's this place that I can come to, to work my fingers and brains alittle, type something so I can kill some time. I'm still not used to having a blog. I guess i'm just so used to my monotonous life that i've had the past few years. Everything's pretty much the same everyday that I can do all that's to be done on any particular day, without thinking. Now that so many things have changed in my life, alot of getting used to is imminent. Just like this blog (and many other facets of my life).

Well, anyone who's reading this entry now will be thinking,

'Hey, Ron's at home on a Monday afternoon?'

Yea, i didn't goto work today. Overslept. I don't know why. But i just feel so tired. So i called my colleague and told him i'll not be heading down to work today. It kinda sucks too, to be working at a place where 80% of its staff in the department that I'm working at is thinking of quitting. Told them I'm also like them, looking for another job (particularly a higher paying one). So they understand why I always don't feel like going to work. I can afford to do so because I'm just a part-timer but unlike them, they're full-timers. Really feel for them.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

And so I've been thinking of something to continue typing for the past 5 minutes but I can't. So i'll end this post. Something very unlikely of me to make such a short entry. I'm just feeling very lethargic right now. I don't feel like lying down on the bed anymore cause that will make me very lazy, i don't wish to sit down at my computer anymore because there's nothing much i can do over here, i don't wish to lay down on the couch watching boring TV programmes... I don't feel like doing anything but... I can't stand myself doing anything!! OMG.

Are weekdays just meant for working???

This is just so.. me.

2007-07-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry this has to be chinese. Just don't complain. This is as true as it gets about me. Read if you even bother.

生命数为8

　　为了怕伤人常隐瞒真正情绪，爱情对他们来说是终生誓约

　　生命数字8的人擅于动查事物的潜力，一旦窥出端倪，他们也有开发它的本事。就像园丁一样，他们喜欢从育种开始，然后按部就班地栽培灌溉，直到它开花结果。

　　生命数字8的人可以将一个意念具体化，并逐渐实现它；最常见到他们将这项才华　发挥得淋漓尽致的就是在经营事业方面了，生命数字8的人是天生的生意人。希腊船王欧纳希斯是此中的典型代表，他能将一个小小的生意机会扩大成一个庞大的企业王国，但是生命数字8的人，只有在他们学会了他们的人生课题之后，才可能将这项才华发挥到极点。生命数字8的人天性诚实，待人和蔼，不喜欢与人冲突，最好也永远不会让人难过。

　　因此生命数字8的人要学习的人生课题就是对自己诚实，不管他们的真实感受会如何影响别人，他们都应该与人直接坦率，有话直说，不要因为怕让人失望而有所保留，如果他们不讲出来的话，他们最后就会付出代价，生命数字8的人也常在建造他　们梦寐以求的金钱王国时，经历一段艰辛时光，而其健康状况也会受到严厉的挑战。

　　在爱情关系方面，生命数字8的人十分温煦，很会照顾人，也常会牺牲自我。爱情对他们来说，是延续彼此友谊的终生誓约，爱情本身并不是他们所追求的，他们的想法比较实际，他们期望的爱情关系既是一种友谊，也是生意伙伴，而同时也是罗曼史，这些要求有时候就很难都顾到。

　　为了让他们的爱人同志更成功，他们不免催促得比较急，因此如果你的另一半是生命数字8的人，他们可能就会希望你多赚点钱，或者要求你对婚姻多付出一些，甚至对小孩也得奉献多一些；如此要求不一定是他们对你的表现不满意，只是他们要见到他周遭的人都能充份发挥他的潜能。

　　在爱情关系中，他们会遭遇的问题是对自己不够诚实。他们必须了解毕竟他不是你的教练，不要老是催你去发展你的潜力，应该多花些时间与心思来培养你们的关系。

　　对待生命数字8的人，你得要敏感些，他们常会隐瞒他们的真正情绪，他们宁可隐藏自己的感觉而让事情看起来都很顺当，但其实对事情一点都不好，你可以鼓励他们有话直说来改善这种情况，让他们知道表达真实感受并没有什么不好，而且不管他们说什么，你都还是爱他，并且愿意不计代价地为他的感觉妥协。

Holidays!!

2007-07-27T16:50:00.000+08:00

School's over! Tests' over! Projects done! Assignments Submitted! Its the holidays! But i'm still working :(. Oh well. In celebration of our first completed term in school together, Herman sad he wanted to goto pub to chill.

Its been some time since i updated this place, I think i'll just do what i do best. Make LONG LONG entries. No worries though, this will be filled with pictures instead. I'll try in future to make more entries cause I'm not exactly that free a person. Started this blog when i took off to study, when i was at home most of the time, so i could spend 10-15mins over here everyday. Not anymore now.

Wednesday evening, we met up at bugis then head straight to the pub. We spent quite some time at the pub till i took out my handphone and started snapping pictures. Then all hell broke lose. Herman, ZongXian and Yong Lin started getting in the act while i tried to capture all the funny moments we had. As usual, the poor camera man (me) doesn't get all the "air-time" I only appear in a few of the pictures. Definitely was a fun night. Let the pictures do the talking...

Oh, Yong Lin brought along 2 friends, Julia and Jersel?? (I'm sorry i dunno how to spell your names) One of them had to leave early so didn't take any pictures of her. The girl you see in the following pictures will be Julia.

The people getting into the act. The following few will be pictures of them having fun um... with each other. LOL

I finally appear in the pictures...

By now, the alcohol starts to kick in and everybody starts to cool down alittle.

But Herman and Zong Xian were still at it!

Following will just be some random images.

I WILL EAT jOO UP!!

Keith's 'Spin-o-Bling' Belt Buckle

So we had fun and everybody left for their homes respectively... Yo guys, if you want the pictures in their original resolution, just let me know.

Guess WHAT! Job Interview the very next morning!!

Presenting to you, Mr. Young Businessman.

Oh BTW, I flunked the interview. I had a hangover. LOL.

Better luck next time then!

Absentmindedness

2007-07-27T16:32:00.000+08:00

Been having sore-throat for the past couple weeks. Hate it whenever i have one. They never seem to go away after a very long time. Dang... So i remember what my mum taught me when i was young. To get this Oldenlandia Water, mix with some salt, and drink. It helps. Really.

So what happens when you put a can of not-so-cool Oldenlandia Water into the freezer?
It becomes cool. Real cool...

Project Madness!

2007-07-21T15:28:00.000+08:00

Been up since early in the morning. Sat down and started working on my project (AGAIN!!) till now i'm having a break over here, seeking some relaxation...

Its Saturday afternoon and I'm at home! Doing project! Can you believe it ornot. My god, my god, my god. Been typing since morning. So don't feel like typing anymore. Took some pictures. Shall let the pictures do the talking.

Project Madness!!

Project Madness!! No. 2

LOOK AT THIS!!

As bored as anyone could be

Even he's bored...

By the way, a friend of mine MSN'ed me earlier in the morning to get me to print something for her. So i obliged. When i went down to the void deck to pass her the printed stuff:

"Wah! Ron! Saturday leh! Never go out ah!!"

"..."

My Day Started on a Good Note!

2007-07-20T13:47:00.000+08:00

2 days ago, I got back from school feeling as bad as any one could have felt. I couldn't solve one single question from a math test that i took (check the post i made 2 days ago for details) and maybe because of that, i couldn't sleep at all that very night! I was flipping and tossing around so much in bed that when the sun rose, with my eyes still wide open, i saw my bedsheet detached from my bed (and i didn't even realise!)! The only part where its still normal was where my head lied, under my pillow. Was supposed to continue working on my psychology project the very next day (yesterday) but was too restless and lethargic to even start. So i spent the day stoning, watching TV with my eyes half-opened till evening where i went out to the movies with a few friends of mine. Thursday's usually the day for me to play bball but i was too tired to even put on my bball gear! Some more my bunch of bball cliques are going outside of our neighbourhood to go challenge the players of another! So with great hesitation, I had to forgo my bball outing.

This morning(uh.. afternoon) i woke up, went through my regular routine, then sat down infront of my computer to check my mails. So the very first mail was from my Statistics (math) lecturer titled "TEST RESULTS". I was thinking "OMG. what a start! I'm definitely going to make myself embarrased." One thing good was that no names were on the list. All results were labelled with our respective Student ID numbers. So its a good 'save-of-face' incase you really did flunk your test (Our ID numbers are like XXXXXXXXXXXX long, so pretty much no-one will remember each other's). I ran down the list and found my ID number. 57 out of a 100 total points! This feels more like a miracle and i couldn't believe what i saw. I immediately when through the list of ID numbers again to make sure my lecturer didn't make a mistake (like input same ID number two times, etc.), NO. Then i went to the line with my score of 57 and checked the ID number again, IT's MINE! I still couldn't believe it. Took out my Student card and verified the ID again, SAME! I let out one short "HA!" my grandmother looked at me, i turned, looked at her (embarrased that i couldn't control my emotions) and turned straight back onto the monitor screen. But i still couldn't stop smiling! LOL. Immediately reached out for my handphone and SMS'ed Herman. Figuring he had not checked his mail - otherwise he would have woke me up early in the morning with the news - i asked for his Student ID number.

"XXXXXXXXXXXX. Why?"
That was the reply Herman sent to me.
"OMG!! You got XX (he failed :P) points for your math test?!"

"! So fast! You eh? Upon one hundred?"

"Where you now? Check your email. He sent the results. I surprisingly got 57?!"

"And you SAY you dunno how to do! I going for my basic (theory driving test) now.. What de hell.."

Herman supposedly did better than me for the test because he came out from the test with alittle confidence whereas i had absolutely none. Both of us have already mentally prepared ourselves that we wouldn't score for this test. But in the end the result was otherwise!

"I really don't know how to do! I just wack all the questions and anyhow apply formula.."

"Wa lao eh.. Sucks man.. After my basic theory pass i going to whack Psychology questions le lo.."

One down, another to go. Psychology test is NEXT! But i've still yet to complete my Psychology Project. Herman's completed and SUBMITTIED his. grrr... He'll score better than me for this Psychology test (and i hope he does. Don't worry about math. cause you will score better than me on the project and assignments :)).

Well that's all for what happened the past hour from i woke up. Great to know that i passed my math test (miraculously). My day has started on a good note and i hope i'll be able to finish off a big chunk of my psychology project today.

Peace.

PS- Herman just sent me an SMS:

"Ladies and Gentlemen. I maintain the top failure in BBDC. FUCK"

Com'on Herman. What the hell's gotten into you!?

A change of mind.

2007-07-20T01:21:00.000+08:00

I've decided I'll not let out this small little history of my life to the public YET. So blame the website or my complete n00bness that my very first post disappeared for no apparent reason. Because the story was already half done till it went *poof*.

Its a good thing i was trying to entertain a bored girl at school through MSN earlier today. That made me go to the folders where I have all my junk stored. In there, i found some Flash videos and some interesting stories that i have saved over the years. I'll share one story here that i read again this afternoon.

Please note that all information that i'm going to post here are from emails that have been forwarded to me years ago. If it belongs to you and you would like to have it removed. please just let me know.

Here it goes:

BASED ON A TRUE STORY
TRUE LOVE BUS STOP

The first time for a guy to approach woman during his life, be it a senseless dare or pure admiration, somehow or another, ounce of energy will gradually flow in you until it accumulates pass a climax, then a sudden urge of doing silly things to know her happens. Before you know it, everything happens in a flash, and when you think back, you wondered how on earth did you manage to do or say something as retard.
I am in similar hypothetical situation.
I observed her since two days and for some diabolical reasons, something stuck me, whispering to me in telepathy mode that I have to know her. Must have one of Cupid's bow shot went haywire and got into me - my eyes never left her. She is petite and small, with long flawless hair. Her features were well defined - especially her eyes that captured my soul in the first wink I caught from her. She is not those drop-dead gorgeous model's style, but when she smiles and her two dimples creases into her cheeks deeply, nothing on earth is sweeter than her. Her charisma and the air that saturates around her is angelic and when I am near her, to close for comfort (it'ssimply stressing), she smelled like a walking conditioner.
I have to know her, if I want this piece of dream to turn into reality. If it were something of my forte, it would have been as simple as snapping my fingers, but I had never approach a girl before. What do you expect from someone who studied in an all guys school since Primary One and not even a single sister at home? Female of similar age don't exist in my environment since I graduated from kindergarten, which was like years ago?
Today is the last day of school, which means starting from tomorrow, two months worth of vacation began. Then, my chances of seeing her will be zero because she doesn't even stay near me; she stayed near my good friend, Jerry, private estate. Fate has enabled us to meet because two days back, because I have been going to Jerry's house and I would only see her at the bus stop. So everything needs to be done today!
She is sitting in front of me and my mind is virtually blank, thinking of a good way to start a decent conversation with her.
Then, the bus appeared into sight and my set my pulse racing - I am losing my time resources!
The bus slowed down to a gradually stop and we both board it.
I chose a seat near the back and sat down, watching her walked passed me and sat behind. A wave of uneasiness washed over me as I could even sense her gaze on my back. There was an internal war waging inside me as I am fighting against trying to walk over to introduce myself and to remain rational.
Finally our stop came and we got down.
She walked at a quickened pace, reckoning that I am stalking her behind. Every seconds is slipping passed me and beads of sweats broke out at strategic part of my forehead. I can't let this final chance go by!
She went through the gate of the estate by now and my mind is in state of desperation. Watching her gradually moving towards her block is unimaginable.
Come on Cloud you could do it! OR you are gonna lose this chance forever!?
A surge of false strength filled my veins as I ran towards her. When I came arm length distance from her, I delivered a light tap onto her shoulder.
She turned around, as if expecting all that would happen and gave me a curious look.
Hi, I was...was wondering if I...I...could get to know you and be your friend??
All the energy in me had expanded in this stuttering sentence I blurted. My face is beginning to blush red with shyness as I waited for any respond.
She smiled faintly and gosh, that nearly sweep me off my feet.
Five minutes went by and everything happened as smoothly as any successful mission. We exchanged numbers and I learned that she is not exactly local; she is a half Japanese who came to Singapore to study. Her name is Yukiko, which means snow in Japanese ?like her unblemished skin, fair and silky-like.
Then she said she had to leave and with a dumb smile reciprocating her sweet ones, we parted.
I looked back at her for one final time, before running and yelling at the top of my voice that I made it. Did I mention knocking onto the lamppost and actually apologized to it?
It was two months since I knew her and we have always talk online. Our relation are like good friends now. Jerry told me to go after her, but my heart doesn’t want to sacrifice this stable friendship for now. Maybe because I had never had a girlfriend before and always have this phobia of relationship not lasting behind my head.
I came home quite late and logging onto IRC and yes! She is there. Before I could catch my breathe for walking back home from the bus stop, she sent me a message…
‘Cloud, so late still never sleep ar?’
I heard my mum’s voice lurking in the background, commanding me to finish the leftover food in the kitchen. If my mum knew that I ate in school already, I guess she is gonna skin me alive.
‘Just came back from school, you?’
‘I waited for you to come online…’
Waited for me? Sometimes girls can be such cute little thing. Words like these seemed like healing wards for the day fatigue. Jerry said that guys must be sweet talkers and romantic, well… I am none of the above. But when he stressed his point, I tried learning to be one.
‘Why leh? Miss me ar? HAHAHAHA!’
I know the laughter was just to cover my embarrassment, but hey, that’s a good attempt.
‘…’
‘Cloud, I am moody today…’
‘Really…? What happen?’
‘My good friend just broke up with her boyfriend today…’
Somehow girls are very affected over things happening to their friends in matters of love. Guys would normally tell them to move on with their life and stuff, whereas they would share their pain and sorrow or cry with them. Maybe that’s why girls always tell one another about their personal problem?
‘Well…it’s getting common isn’t it? Relationship are breaking up every now and then…’
‘I seen them come together and they have been together for 3 months plus… so long…’
Three months and you called that long? It’s not even longer than a semester. Maybe people involved will find it longer than it seemed to be. I am a counsellor in school and people approach me for all kind of interpersonal relation problem. Maybe that’s why I have another point of view? But when it comes to myself, I am such a dickhead.
‘If they were meant to be together…well… they will be together right? Sometimes not being together is a good thing…couples not suited for each other being force to be together is a painful thing…’
‘Fate…?’
Fate to me is like a legend; everyone talks about it, rant about it, thank God about it, but when it comes to relation, I have never gotten myself a girlfriend, so I know nuts about it.
‘Err… you could say that?’
‘Then are we fated to know each other… Cloud…?’
I always hated it whenever girls corner me with questions that neither YES nor NO is the right answer. Just when I am stuck with her questions, my mum with her pissed off face come knocking at my door, demanded that I finish the food left for me.
‘Hey, I have go off for now to eat supper… answer you another time…’
‘…’
‘Come on… gif me a smile ok? I treat you movie next time…’
‘You say wan ar… … I see you tomorrow ok?’
Well, it seemed that the treating trick always works. Hey… it means that I can make use of this excuse to catch a movie with her! I am such a fast learner.
‘Ok! bye bye!’
The next thing I see is the ‘DISCONNECT’ word on my computer. Grinning from ear to ear, I skip my way to the kitchen.
‘Cloud! You are finally here!’
I looked at the clock and it says 10 pm. No, I am not late, rather I am pretty early using IRC entering our usual chat room.
‘Cloud, my good friend tried to patch back with her bf today… but he ignore her…’
Well… guys of these days are not looking for serious relation. People have to get to know and go through more relation before they could realise that who is the right one for them what.
‘She cried you know… so poor thing… then that guy said that he likes another girl…’
A Chinese proverb came into my mind – Tian ya he chu wu fang cao. Why cry wasted tears over a relation that was never meant to be yours in the first place? Human, even though are emotional creatures, after a period of time, everything will just be a memory of what had taken place.
‘Yah I told her to move on with her life, but she loved him so much and she couldn’t believe that he like someone else… if I am her, I will also dunno what the do…’
Don’t know what to do? Make yourself happy instead of lingering in this sorrowful event? Sometimes I really wonder if woman are that dumb? Or is it love that is making woman a vulnerable creature? And what makes you think THAT it is love? Woman, in their first love, love their lovers, in others, they loved love…
‘Really?…’
All woman loves romance. It is like salt and sugar in cooking. Without it, whatever relation will be bland.
‘What about you Cloud?’
Me? How come the topic is about me now? I always avoid questions whenever it comes to me in revealing my inner self. It is like exposing yourself to danger through speaking. People, whom you least expected it, betray the trust you given to them and you will have to go through this series of utter disappointment and sadness. Ok I admit… I watch TOO much TV.
‘Me? What about me?’
‘What if something like that happens to you?’
‘Er… it won’t lar. I don’t even have a gf…’
‘Why? Go get one?’
‘…’
‘y? something is wrong?’
Ok baby, this would be the catalysis to explode my innermost views again.
‘I don’t want to get a gf for the SAKE of getting one… its meaningless don’t you think? Relation nowadays are going nowhere because people just want to be in a relation. They are afraid to be alone - they WANT someone to walk by them. Be it emotionally, sexually or physically. I don’t mind being alone - I like it! Until maybe when the special one comes along, I will try my best to be with her, doing stuff together and most importantly, grow together…’
There was an unaccustomed silence after I type that paragraph. My fingers speed through the keyboard and finally stop at the last word. Oh &#*^! Have I just ruined my good impression? I discern its time to celebrate with Jerry about my first failure.
‘You are right Cloud…’
Hooray!! I could see my happiness on the computer screen, signalling to my victory of words.
‘I want to stay single, until the special one comes along too… …’
Oh wait, how could cute girls like her possibly stay single? Guys will try all sorts of ways to get her and she would finally succumb to one. She is too cute to stay single…
‘me blushed… no I am not cute…’
She is such a poor liar. When you praise a girl pretty, they would tell you they look ugly. When you say that they look like toilet, she retaliate and bites back, saying you look worst… such is mentality of a woman.
‘I girl mah, that why will also be like that… =P’
From a close defeated battle, I have eventually emerge the winner as I continue to chat with her for the next two hours. Somehow, during these periods of knowing her, I had never asked about the background of her family or sort, but we talk everything else. I loved to chat with her as she is way so different from all the other girls – she is VERY naïve and this creates an impulse for me to protect her, to guide her along. She showed me the real innocence of a young lady, untainted and pure. I love the way she is, naturally cute and THIS is the reasons that stop me from jioing her – I can’t take advantage of her innocence right?
‘Cloud… I have to go already… its getting late…’
‘I have to leave too…Oh yeah… its almost 12 and my Cinderella has to leave… HAHAHAHA!’
Why is it that I must laugh every time I attempt a MUSHY statement? A lousy cover for my embarrassment.
‘…’
‘Cloud… you say the other time you wanna treat me movie right?’
Ok, my hypnotic statement has hinted her! YEAH!
‘Lets watch movie together tomorrow ok?’
Er… ok!’
My mind was cheering and screaming in rejoice. All hail cupid for the golden opportunity!
‘Ok… Cloud you log off first, I don’t want you to see me go…’
‘Aww…ok I count to 3 and leave…’
I can’t believe I am doing this SILLY business.
‘3…2…1…gone!’
I couldn’t get to sleep on that day, totally excited about tomorrow’s event. Going out with a girl? I had never been out with one before! Praying at my bedside sincerely that nothing will screwed up on that day.
It was 8.40 pm and I was at Starbucks (20 minutes before appointment point) – Plaza Singapura, the location we suppose to meet. It is not polite to be late for a date for the first time anyway. Slipping my favourite ice blended mocha, I waited.
I was daydreaming about today’s soccer match I played and started pondering over life issues and soccer; Life is like soccer… you never know when you gonna get hit by the ball in your face. What load of crap!
As I was trying to entertain myself to relieve some amount of tension in me, I sense her presence – the smell, I can never forget. I looked up and saw her smiling and making her way towards me. She is simply stunning and like a critical hit, I was stoned watching her coming. White spaghetti straps top with jean skirts… Woah, I simply love girls wearing skirts. It makes them looked… more…erm…more female.
‘Sorry I am late…’
‘Nah, its Ok. I am just early myself…’
‘So what movie are we watching?…’
‘It’s ok, we will check it out later, anyway what matter most is who I am watching with, not the show…’
She blushed and I nearly died saying that sentence. Hey… I am pro huh? HAHAHA!
Smiling at my flippant words, I commented on how gorgeous she looked today. I guess it was just something to start conversation, but hey… I really meant what I said. She looked really shy and reply with a soft thanks. I bought another ice-blended mocha for her as she said she wanted the same.
We chatted for a while - Jerry told me to soften her up with the conversation as she will most likely be as tense as I am. Gradually, she gain comfort from my company and from chatting, it grew some laughter in it. Actually at times (lucky thing it wasn’t frequent), I did not understand what she was saying. Her Japanese accent with little tint of singlish that comes along with it, was weird but comprehendible. Nevertheless, she looked so cute, especially when she smiled that I have this burning urge to pinch her cheek.
After finishing our drinks, we made our way to the Cinema, after we decide and made purchase for Shallow Hal. It was comedy show and Jerry said that comedies is good way to remember a first date. At least she won’t be crying while watching a sad movie and I had to cheer her up later, although horror show seemed like a whole lot better option to me. Hiak!
The movie is talking about Hal Larsen, the ultimate shallow guy. He judged woman by appearance and in the end he got hypnotize by this guy who made him sees woman by their character instead of physical beauty. Rosemary, the lead actress came into the picture and he fell in love with her, without realizing that she is not what he thinks she looked like.
The story is a mixture of hearts, laughs and emotions and at the end of the show, I could see watery tears rimming around Yukiko’s eyes. What the hell? Well… at the very least she understand the story, which was my first fear. We walked out of the Cinema and out of Plaza Singapura, while I tried to reassure her that the world was still spinning and it was only a show.
‘Cloud… do you think there are people like that?’
‘Sure… of course… that is the real world…’
‘Why must guys like pretty girls?’
I was momentarily taken aback by a sudden question. I asked myself and the answer that came up doesn’t seemed too good…
‘Because human like to see pretty things? I mean you would like to see good looking guys too right?’
‘But good-looking guys don’t give me security. That’s why I don’t like good-looking guys…’
My heart screamed another point of victory; I am not good looking - I am decent looking, the second closest to handsome. Even though she never really answered my question, but I love her reply.
‘What about you Cloud? Do you like pretty girls too?’
THIS KIND of question AGAIN? If I said yes, I will appear damn shallow. If I say no I am lying to myself. Gawd! I need the best of both world answer…
‘Me?’
I was trying to buy time as she nodded her head almost immediately.
‘Well… I think I prefer… cute girls like… you!’
My system was undergoing this contained stress and it is making me go nuts every time she throws questions like these to stumble me. She blushed and tapped my head lightly. Oh man, I think I am not gonna wash my hair today.
‘Don’t be silly…’
I know that sentence was just to cover her embarrassment, just like me laughing whenever I made mushy remarks.
I decided to sent her home by bus as I think this is the very least what a guy should do. We boarded the bus, the same bus 171 where we always take - We recognized the bus driver.
‘Boy ar… not bad ar… get to know her liao…last time you both dunno each other wan right?’
It was the bus driver and I nodded in faintly agreement with him and smiled my way through, while she giggled uncontrollably. We choose a seat at the far back and sat down.
‘This driver is always very chatty, don’t bother about him. I always seen him talking to other passengers…’
She shaped a smile from her lips.
Suddenly, she took the bus tickets I was holding.
‘Look away first!’
I did as I was told and after five minutes she hold my waist and put her fist onto my hands. Am I in heaven?
‘I have nothing to give you, so I made this two heart myself. One for you, one for me…’
I looked at her origami made from bus tickets and wondered whether I should do something similar. I appreciate her effort though – I thanked her.
Finally her stop arrived and she had to align. We got down and I insisted in sending her all the way till her block.
‘It’s ok. It’s not good if I am being seen by my neighbours with a guy so late at night you know…’
I nodded and finally relented. Well, every date has to part eventually right?
I watched her fade into her estate and until I caught zero glimpse of her.
I am in LOVE with TODAY.
For the next few months, we chatted everyday and each time I felt that I am slipping into this pit of angelic darkness called love. She told me she couldn’t go out very often as her guardian is very strict – finally she is talking more about herself. Her parents are overseas working, leaving her all alone, which contribute reasons for her character. I know she longs for my company like I longs for hers. We are like one in-separate-able pair of best friend. Whatever problems she has, she consulted me and I will be there to give my expertise advice. Maybe this is what true love is, someone to be there regardless of whether you two are together - someone to guide, shield and depend. Jerry, the woman’s men, said that I am wasting too much time on a single girl. I should have just pop the question and leave the thinking to her, after all life is too short to spend on one person. But the urge to reveal my feeling hasn’t reached to such stage for desperation yet. Maybe next time I would, but when is the right time?
‘Cloud… I have something to ask you…’
Oh no, not again?
‘What do you think of me?…’
Oh #@!$, peer evaluating time! Even though I speak easily to myself, when it comes to expressing to HER, I am score an F9 for it.
‘Cute? And you are a very good friend of mine…’
‘That all?…’
What do you mean that’s all? Oh dear, I have to say something that she wants to hear or forever I will be condemn in her eyes. Noooooooo…..
I decide to avoid the question using my avoidance tactics.
‘There is a lot of things in my heart that I feel about you, but in this short span of time, I can’t express it out. But regardless of what is it, I want to let you know that treasure you a lot.’
Phew, lucky thing I manage to come out with this marvellous sentence. It seemed that after the episode of knowing her, I am beginning to learn the trades of using words.
‘…’
I didn’t know how to reply her smile and decide to leave it until she reply me with something else. Five minutes went by and I am starting ponder whether I should reply anything.
‘Cloud… can we meet for dinner tomorrow?’
Another date! Yeah I screamed literally at my computer scream as she is able to go out once more, with me.
‘Sure! What about your guardian? She allows you to go out?’
‘Yes, she allow me to go out tomorrow…’
‘Ok… we meet at Mac at Parklane ok?’
‘me nodded her head…’
‘Ok I have to go offline now… remember don’t be so early ok?… I feel bad if you have to wait for me…’
I smiled at her consideration for me.
Before I could reply with anything, her nick has quit IRC. Guess that I have to wait for tomorrow to see her again.
I arrived early as usual, this time about 15 minutes earlier, waiting for her outside Macdonald patently. Reckoning about her sudden wanting to meet me suggested motives, that’s what TV drama always show. Maybe she needed a large sum of money, borrow from me and then disappear into thin air… hiak… the effect of TOO much TV… again.
As I was busy throwing impossible scenarios into the pictures to cease my tension, she stood in front of me. As I looked up, I noticed her face is getting fairer and whiter to the extend of being pale, but nevertheless her sparkling eyes never loses its glow. Must be the effect of those skin whitening Japanese beauty product.
‘Waited long?’
‘Only about 5 minutes…’
My first lie I made to her. But it was for good cause.
We went into Mac and sat near the window seats, where we could look out towards the roadside.
‘What do you want, I buy for you…’
‘You eat anything, I eat anything…’
I went to buy for her and decide upon Mac Nuggets Meal as she is a small eater. Less than an instant, 2 packets of large fries, 2 large coke and two boxes of 6-pieces nugget was on the tray as I carried them. Somehow, I noticed that she was looking at me with such mesmerizing effect that I nearly unbalanced myself.
‘Cloud… why are you so good to me?…’
Good? What you mean good? You mean you want me to trick you to bed and after that meet about for sessions like this? Thinking back, only bastard guys would do that and being a good guy, I shall uphold my reputation.
‘What you mean?’
‘Before those day when you wanted to know me, I was actually getting a little irritated when you stalked me…’
‘Oh really?… I must have seen like a pervert or something to you right?…’
She giggled out of a sudden and I wondered what she meant.
‘But then again… till now, I realize that you are different from other guys that wanted to know me…’
What? There are other idiots doing the same thing too? Oh well, I am NOT surprised, considering her lovable nature and attractiveness.
‘You are my best friend and appreciated it… and must be fated that will know each other right?’
Fate again. Why must woman always bring up the topic of fate everytime when it comes to relation of any kind? I nodded my head a little. She seemed a little solemn today and I reckoned that if there is anything I could give in to her, I should give in. I tried to cheer her up a little as the topic she started were on the emotional side. I spoke some joke and she giggled a little as we continue to our meals. Sometimes I feel that she is the only person in the world that appreciate what I am doing – be it stupid, silly, cute, dumb or whatever @^!!. It is not much, but she always responded.
We finished our meals and were playing with our straws like little kids. As we had our little ‘fighting’, I looked into her eyes and her eyes seemed to tell me that she may have gone through a lot of in during these period. I don’t know what was the problem may be, but all my mind was telling me was to make her happy – simple and sincere.
‘Can we go somewhere where I could see the sea?’
We took a taxi down to Marina Bay. Reached in while moment, we got out and walked close to the shores where the waves roar in protest from the raging winds. The sky is densely clouded and the breezes is strong, but just nice enough for comfort. We sat down side by side and watched the waves continual sweeping up the shores.
Suddenly she position and lean herself on my back with her head facing up, looking at the nightly sky. I told myself never would I forget such day. The first intimate bodily contact I had with a girl back to back, just like two hearts melted in one. We spoke nothing, just revelling in nature’s enjoyment.
‘The sky is beautiful right?…’
I looked at the sky and to me, it appeared as if it’s going to rain soon. Then she stopped leaning on me, and looked into me. As if a soldier going for war, my gaze never left hers – I have decide not to avoid it. We studied each other gaze for a moment and after what seemed like eternity, I could see a layer of wetness in her eyes.
‘Cloud… would you remember me?…’
Actually I was wondering why she sobbed, but it seemed that maybe she wants to bring out something to tell me and I suspect it is nothing good. I nodded my head to her question and her gaze move onto the rough sea.
‘Why? I will never forget you… is there something wrong?’
She kept quiet, rolling her vision between the sea and the sky before looking down...
‘I… have to go back Japan…’
Like a prick on bubbles, an internal implosion occurred within me. Don’t tell me all the fantasy I am having is coming to an end? If this was a dream, I pray that I will never wake up from it.
‘I understand… your parents are over there and they worried for you…’
Even though I am fighting inside, I had to put on a brave front. Well, she isn’t my girlfriend or something, I can’t demand her not to leave. Girls of her age needs their parents to be with them more than friends.
‘Will you come and visit me if I ask you to?…’
‘Yes of course! I will!… Can we still contact through IRC?’
I was hoping for a small miracle, its nothing much, but at least I could still talk to her online.
‘I don’t think I have computer or internet connection at my house…’
The atmosphere is getting intense and to make matter worst, the I could feel a drop of water falling on my skin.
‘Then… its ok… we could chat on the phone whenever we can and I think we better leave now, it’s going to rain.’
We both got up and walked hastily towards the road in trying to catch a cab, but halfway through, the merciless weather started pouring heavily. Even though I just had a shock from what she had just told me, in the present moment, in my mind, all I thought of is to shield her from the chilling rain as I didn’t want her to fall sick. My hands formed a tiny, little barrier and covers her head. It is damn dumb and I don’t understand why am I doing such acts - it won’t block the rain from drenching her.
Then, I saw a coming taxi driving and I flagged it.
‘You are so silly Cloud…’
The next thing I knew, we were in the cab pretty drenched. I told the uncle to reduce the air-con to the lowest and put my arms around her shoulder, rubbing her arms to gain some heat. Gradually, for some reasons, she was in my embrace and I was stroking her soaked hair. Her eyes were kept closed and my fingers travelled to her cheeks. Pinching lightly to fulfil my long awaited-desire, she opened her eyes, like an awaken baby in the morning. My index finger teased her dimples a little as she felt tickled and ruffled her head in between my arms and chest.
All good things must come to an end - the cab reached her place and lucky thing, there was shelter to her house. I told the uncle to wait for a while and got out of the cab with her.
‘When are you leaving then…?’
‘Tomorrow…’
Tomorrow? Did I just hear wrongly? What’s the rush? Sometimes, reality is extremely cruel – heaven makes sport of men.
‘I am suppose to tell you earlier, but I can’t bear to…’
She is right. If she told me earlier, my feelings would be just like dying patients with the last stage of cancer – waiting for THAT day. It’s terrible!
‘Would you see me off?…’
In my heart, there is this robust urge of seeing her every second, but if I were to see her off, the scene would be unimaginable. My mind and soul won’t be able to endure the parting scene.
‘I think, we should just keep this the last meeting then…’
I actually managed to smile and kept this mask of mine, this brave front indestructible. It remains on my face emotionlessly and dead.
‘Well… perhaps it's better if we keep it this way. By the count of three, we both just walk off to our destination and never look back ok?
She nodded and I could see her tears closed to spilling out.
‘Boy ar, come, drink this…’
It was close to my June examination and my mum knocked and came into my room, bringing me the usual examination brain tonic – Chicken Essence. I gulped down the entire bottle and sat by my study table in my room. Working through last year papers has driven me to the pinnacle of madness. I looked out of my room’s window and thought of Yukiko, again.
It has been a few months since I last saw or heard from her. After the scene at her estate and we promise not to look back at each other, I never turn back to even have my last glance. I feel that I already had my last glance when I spoke my last words to her. As I depart, I controlled myself emotionally and force my tears back to its origin. For a guy’s image, I can’t allow such feelings to overpower me.
I went online that day and see if she was there using another nick, but no she wasn’t. I know it already passed midnight, but I finally succumb to my inner self and wanted to make sure I won’t think back and regret on the fact that I never check whether she was online that day.
I don’t know why she never contacts me since then, but I know she has her reasons. Maybe she lost my number over there, maybe she is busy adapting to her new life… or maybe she has forgotten me? No can’t be! How can that be? How can the scenarios that have been taken place be so easily forgotten? The day I knew her, our chats, the movie, dinner, straws fighting, the beach, the unexpected rain, the cuddle and every other tiny little details. Is this piece of dreamland meant to be only a dream?
Tomorrow is the beginning of my exam. I rubbed my eyes a little and stretched, telling myself not to ponder over past issues as it may affect my exam performance. I went back to my books and paper and continue began working on it.
‘Boy ar! Your phone!’
My phone? At such hours of the night?
‘Hello?…’
There was no respond, but somehow I had this feeling that it was her.
‘Yukiko?? Is that you?’
I was praying and gripping the phone hard, hoping that a miracle could happen.
‘How… how you know it was me?…’
‘I smart what! Hey! I never hear from you SO LONG!’
I emphasised on the words ‘So long’ as if I had never heard anything from her for few decades. The first thing I did was to told her to hang on for a moment and screamed at the top of my voice, literally. My happiness could not contain inside me and I need to release it. Then I scolded her, in gentle tone, for not contacting me and making me so worried for her.
‘Sorry… I can’t use the phone here for very long too…’
Actually, I don’t mind the duration of her calls – I just wanted to hear her voice so badly.
‘Miss me?…’
‘For making me worried and missing you so badly, you shall treat me movie the next time I see you…’
I used the same trick again. HAHAHA!
We spoke on the phone and talked like old friends and the pressing examination stress seemed to have vanished. I was hoping in my heart that time will freeze so that we could chat till the end of time.
‘Cloud… remember that day when I ask you if you would visit me in Japan and you said you would…?’
‘Yes? You want me to go over? Ok sure, tell me your address. I will go over right after my examination next sat…’
‘Next sat?… examination?… that is when?’
‘Maybe 28 May or slightly later…Yeah… tell me your address?…’
I jolted down her contacts in Japan and kiss it.
‘Cloud… I got to go already… can’t talk anymore. Before I put down, is there anything you want to tell me?…’
‘Take lots of care ok? I can’t wait to see you soon!’
‘You put down first Cloud… I don’t want you to see me hang up on you…’
With that a heavy heart our conversation ended as I put the phone down. In preparation for the coming trip to Japan, I hurried my revision, determined to do well so that I could psycho my mum to pay for my trip. I thank you God for giving me this chance!! HOORAY!
*Days passed*
Finally I am close to finishing my examination – today is the last paper. I was home, like all other days, doing my revision. My mum says that if I do finish this examination, she would pay for my tickets, provided I give her my words that my results will be good when it is out. Regardless… I CAN’T WAIT ANYMORE! I want to see her so badly and life has been good to me, even though little setbacks filled along the way, but I love the surprises Cupid has in store for me.
From morning till night, I have been studying non-stop, although my mind wandered on the thought of seeing her again. For the sake of going over, everything is worth it.
Then, in amidst of studying, my mum calls for me and I guess it must be regarding the trip over. Hehz. Yeah I will see her soon!
‘Boy ar… a letter for you…’
Huh? A letter for me? I had never receive a letter addressed to me before. I examined the envelope and it wrote ‘ To Cloud’ on the front. Curiously, I tear opened and a letter fell out.
Dear Cloud,
Before I began, I apologise for not telling you everything about myself. In this world, if there is one person I wouldn’t want to see crying – it would have been you.
I wrote this letter on the night when we parted and promise not to look back. Actually I broke the promise; I did looked back, because I feared that I may not have the chance to see you again this lifetime. I know you are putting on a brave front because as a woman I could cry and I know you would be there to console me, but someone has to be the stronger one to console and reassure right?
The reasons why I have to go back to Japan is because I am suffering from a rare case of a blood cancer that may claim my life very soon if it is not treated. My parents wants me to go back to take a major operation there because if this operation were to fail, I would disappear from the surface of the world and they wants to be with me during this period, that’s why I ask you if you would come to visit me if I ask you to…
The success rate of this operation is only 30% and anything could happen. So I want to tell you that I appreciate your company, your advices, everything you did or said. I giggled to myself every night after we chatted online and I began to ask myself if I fell in love with you. I guess I did, although you never express yourself to me. Perhaps it is just one sided, but no wrong liking you what right?
You told me you rather wait for the special one, and I told you I will also wait for mine. During the time when I was cuddling in you, I knew that you are the one. I hope that the cab could drive slower because I may not get the chance to cuddle in you again. You may find a girlfriend by then, or I am already in heaven watching over you.
My operation begins on 24 May and I will call you maybe a week plus before to fulfil the promise you said you would come over and visit me in Japan. By then you would know the truth and I could see you for the last time, at least.
But then again, if you receive this letter through mail send by my guardian, it means that I am already gone, leaving my physical body, leaving my suffering and of course, leaving this world. But do not despair, as I will always be around you, shielding you like what you did, in vain, to protect me from the rain today. You said you are not romantic at all, but to me, you are the best a guy could be.
I am feeling a little tired writing this letter, but I am determine to finish what I had to say. If there is one thing final question I want you to ask me, it would be you asking me whether if I like good-looking guys. No, I don’t like them because I like guys like YOU – unique and extraordinary, just like Rosemary in the movie we watched together. This distinct character could only be found in you and I want you to kept it that way for I like the way you are, not the way you looked.
I love you, Cloud… very much… Yukiko
Tears I have been fighting back, at this time broke from my resistance barrier and roll down my cheek as I saw the date today – 27 May. I was rooted to the ground, totally defeated, lying at the mercy of my ill-fated destiny. I clutched my head tightly as trains of disillusioned thoughts sinks into my mind. Why DIDN’T I LEFT Singapore to Japan? I should have hack care about my examination to be with her, her final days. I should not have delay the trip over… I should not…
Decisions, most of the times, have cruel consequences regardless of which options I chose. I was at the verge of mental breakdown, totally confused and helpless, like a baby in crossfire, weeping silently to myself for the tears I owe her and for the lack of courage to express my feeling. She was waiting for me to pop the question! And I never did! I should have fuc-king listen to Jerry. At the very least, I could let her know HOW MUCH she meant to me and how much I loved her…
I knew something is happening to me…
I was crying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As expected, my results were good. Since that day, I never spoke much because I was hurt, disappointed and regretted beyond words. I sat at the bus stop where I first saw her and every scene replay itself in my mind, like a drama. I recalled that she still owe me a movie treat – although this could never happen and thinking of it, made me sink deeper into this whirlpool of depression.
Clutching tightly onto the heart origami that she made, I waited for the bus and soon, it arrived.
I took it and realise that it was the same bus driver again.
‘Eh boy ar… why your girlfriend not with you ar?…’
I smiled at him and pointed to my heart.
‘Nope! She is with me… all the time…’

OK, so now I got one.

2007-07-19T17:14:00.000+08:00

I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT I HAVE JUST TYPED A VERY NICE STORY FOR MY FIRST POST AND FOR SOME REASON, IT JUST DISAPPEARED. IS IT THIS WEBSITE'S FAULT? OR I'M JUST A COMPLETE NOOB?

SO I WILL TYPE AGAIN!

*I started off with explaining how I always wanted to have a blog...

Always wanted to have a blog. But everytime I tried to start one, I will not know what to put in. Which leads me to thinking "now already nothing to type, in future where got things to type?!" Hence, only till now then you see this very first post of mine.

One of the real and new reason now that I'm starting this blog is that I've just got a new phone not long ago (one of the better camera phones in the market) and I've been taking alot of photos everywhere (mostly nonsense). So i figure this can be the place I will use to share the photos I've taken. There will be no photos in this first post though, you'll know why in the following paragraph.

As I type, I told Herman through MSN that I will make my first post a full 3000 words! So i'm making these few sentences now just to increase the words count! HA! :P
Why 3000 words? Well that's the criteria for my soon-to-due Psychology project this coming Monday and I'm just about 2500 words shy of the criteria. Which is not really much of a problem (YEA RIGHT).

Haven't been working since last Wednesday (11th July 2007) and why? Because I've been busy with my Psychology assignment, Statistics Project, Statistics Test, Psychology Project, Psychology Test! People take leave/off to relax and enjoy, while I take them to stress myself up. Sometimes I wonder what have really gotten into me to make me study so much right now. I’ve not read so many books in my life. EVER!

Pardon me if I sound alittle rude. Let me explain. I just came back from school, having just completed my math test. And I never really completed one full question (there were a total 10 of them). I knew I had them in the back of my head. But for some reason, I just couldn’t recall how to solve them! Maybe its because I’ve been doing too much math throughout the day that when it comes to the most important moment, I experienced a mental block. I just couldn’t think MATH when I was at the math test. How’d you like it if you were in my shoes?

Oh well, that flunked test means I’m almost done with my treacherous off/leave period of suffering. I’ve my Psychology project and test left. Which will all come to an end come Monday. Which also means, another 5 days of misery for me.

Talking about what has really gotten into me to make me study this much. I think its because I’ve got my buddy with me now in the same class. Kind of a long story to explain as to why I said that last sentence. I’ll try to make it short. But heck, I’m supposed to hit the 3000 words target. So to hell with it. (so Herman decides to goto bed now. I’m all alone now.) Here’s the story:

(This story was half complete until everything disappeared. Its 2:03am as I type. I’ll continue the story some other time)

To be continued…